Paramour
by AlyxFyre
Summary: "Paramour- a lover, especially the illicit partner of a married person." A series of one-shots from Lizzy's point of view. Mostly about SebaCiel, often set after Lizzy and Ciel are married. rated T, but may border on M for non-explicit sexual content. Now complete
1. Chapter 1-- That Girl, Weeping

**This is (hopefully) going to be a series of one-shots from Lizzy's point of view. In these, Lizzy will be around 17-18, so she will be more mature. Also, there will definitively be SebaCiel and possibly other pairing that pop up on the side. **

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. However, I do love writing as Lizzy.**

Lizzy has never liked the night. She is not scared by it, as very little in general scares her… but she despises the memories, the horrors that rear their hell-born heads the moment darkness rules the sky.

She has never liked the night, which holds memories of pitch-black clothes, worn to her fiancé's funeral.

A pitch-black butler, bound as a shadow to her now-husband.

The pitch-black rage in her heart as she watches the loving looks Ciel and his butler trade.

_The pitch-black emptiness, from which echo muffled moans and breathy pants_.

She curls her feet under a lace nightgown. Her bed has grown cold, yet she hardly notices. Warmth, and its absence, is so distant from her thoughts.

_She closes her eyes as she hears a boy's voice wail, low and wanton in its need, "Sebastian… I… I can't!" _

_A velvet chuckle responds. "Oh, but my little one, you are."_

Lizzy closes her eyes and clenches pale hands together. Her husband, panting out another's name, a _man's_ name, in the darkness…

As he does every night, after she pretends to have fallen asleep.

At first, the few weeks after she became Elizabeth Phantomhive, she wondered how she failed to give him what he needed. Was she failing that horribly in her wifely obligation, to force her husband to seek relief in another's arms?

_In the next room, two bodies slam against the wall. Ciel bites off a moan, and over the whisper of skin on skin Sebastian growls his master's name._

_In response, soft curls of blonde hair are arranged over her ears, a down-filled pillow is pulled to cover her head._

But as she watched Ciel, in those appalling months after their marriage, watched the stolen glances, the lingering touches, the sweet words breathed into his lover's pale ear, the truth became clear to her.

She would never be good enough for him.

No woman would.

Only Sebastian.

Only Sebastian.

**Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed.**


	2. Chapter 2-- That Girl, Shopping

**Wow! Thank you to everyone who reviewed! It was so exciting to receive so many reviews for this piece, which was mostly a private little drabble. **

**This next part isn't as sexually themed. Just some Lizzy being cute (because she is). **

Lizzy straightened her straw bonnet, carefully situating it over her curls. In these last few weeks, she has been attempting an elegant chignon with a few delicate tendrils of hair framing her face. She thinks it makes her look sweet, especially with her straw bonnet trimmed with darling lavender silk.

Paula enters the room, holding the French earrings Lizzy is so fond of. "My lady, here… Oh, you look so sweet!"

Lizzy beams excitedly. "Do you think Ciel will agree?"

Paula placed the diamond studs on Lizzy's vanity. "I don't believe anyone could disagree, my lady. You've grown into such a lovely girl."

Lizzy ducks her head, blushing happily. Fastening her earring, she asks, "Is Ciel here yet?"

"No, my lady."

Lizzy fastens her left earring, then sighs contentedly. "I believe I'll walk in the garden until he arrives. When he comes, please send a servant to fetch me, would you?" Then she clasps her hands to her chest, excited. "I'm just so excited he asked to shop with me. He's been ever so kind these last few months, such a gentleman."

"He has, my lady." Paula kneels to place Lizzy's shoes on her feet.

After so many years of having to slump around her fiancé, Ciel has grown so much taller than Lizzy. She can finally wear those lovely high-heeled shoes she has always coveted.

"And he even has been telling me how much he looks forward to our marriage. He's… he's so mature. Some days I used to worry he didn't even like me, but now… I know. We're going to be the happiest couple in England, Paula!" She bites a petal-soft lip, trying not to grin like a fool.

Paula looks up at her flushed mistress, smiling shyly. "My lady… I'm so happy for you."

Lizzy giggles as she stands, balancing on her little shoes. "Sweet Paula. I'm so glad you'll go with us when I move to Ciel's manor. I don't think I could survive without you."

The maid drapes Lizzy's satin cloak over her shoulders. Lifting the hem of her skirt, Lizzy brushes across the floor, her pale dress's hem centimeters off the carpet. The sounds of pattering feet echo down the staircase as she strolls out into the rose garden.

The Midford grounds are impressive, bright green leaves glossy and rosy buds turned towards the warm sun. The white roses climbing the trellis, Lizzy's favorite, are particularly fine this year. But nothing can quite compare to the almost unearthly beauty of the famed Phantomhive grounds, with the famed white roses and the tantalizing scent of damp blossoms that permeates the entire manor.

Lizzy ambles throughout the grounds, admiring the blossoms, then comes upon the small garden boy curled in the grass moaning.

He looks up at her, eyes misty with unshed tears, and hides his left hand. "G'day, mistress. 'Xcuse me, mistress, I…" he sniffles, biting the inside of his cheek.

She crouches beside him, pulling out a white linen handkerchief and holding it to the boy's nose. "Hush, little one. What's the matter?"

He blinks back tears, holding out his bleeding left hand. "I cut myself… Mistress, please, you shouldn't…"

"Hush. I'm the mistress. I shall decide what and what not to do." Lizzy grasps his hand and examines the bloody gash. While blood is flowing out of the wound, it doesn't seem to be very deep or soiled. She lifts the bucket of water on the pavement and dips his hand into it, gently scrubbing around the gash to clean off the mud. Then she pulls out his hand and wraps it securely.

The boy releases his lower lip from between slightly crooked teeth. "Th… thank you, Mistress. I'm sorry for inconveniencing you."

Smiling, Lizzy rises to her feet. "It's never an inconvenience for me to help another of God's children." She rinses her hands with the water in the bucket. Her handkerchief currently in use by another, she hurries down the path to the house.

Suddenly Paula is running down the path, calling her mistress's name. "Mistress Lizzy! There you are! I was sent to fetch you. Master Ciel is here early as he wishes to take you to lunch. Hurry, mistress! His carriage is waiting."

Lizzy whines a little. "I need a handkerchief… is my dress stained?"

Paula examines the white satin dress hurriedly. "No, my lady. But hurry now! Hurry!"

The women rush to the courtyard, where Ciel is politely chatting with Marquis Midford. As the women slow their approach to a polite speed, the men turn to smile at them.

As Lizzy sees her fiancé, she is again struck with how much he has changed. The petite boy who used to frown at everyone has been replaced by a taller, graceful gentleman with incredible knowledge of every social nuance. His smiles may not come frequently, but compared to the almost sullen way Lizzy recalls being treated, he seems like a perfect angel.

He smiles as she approaches and takes her hand. "Lizzy! I'm so delighted you would come with me. It would have been so tedious without you."

I blush and look at the ground while he kisses the back of my hand softly. "Oh, Ciel, thank you for inviting me! I don't know what I'd do without you."

He smiles, and Sebastian opens the door to the carriage. "Are you ready, Lady Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Midford?"

I giggle at my full name and title. "Of course. Goodbye, father! Have a marvelous day!" I wave cheerily as we rattle away.

_Paramour- A Kuroshitsuji fanfiction by Alyx Fyre_

London is packed as usual, with the general masses pouring like so many ants into whatever tiny space they can find. Lizzy coughs at the putrid smell, but soon adjusts to it.

The tiny party dismounts in front of a millinery shop, as Lizzy hopes to purchase a present for her mother. She floats over to the window, eyes glued to a particularly appealing one trimmed with small rosebuds and baby's breath. "Ciel, you can go in, I want to look out here." She stares at the hat, then looks over the others as Ciel enters the shop, Sebastian trailing behind him like a shadow.

In a few minutes, the nearly magnetic attraction which pulled Lizzy towards the display lessens, and she happens to glance up through the window.

The vision greeting her is nearly paralyzing. Ciel is standing nearly pressed against Sebastian's chest as he reaches upwards to whisper in Sebastian's ear. The pair glances around a huge cabinet to make sure the shopkeeper is busy before Ciel places gloved hands on…

Oh. Oh my.

Her soon-to-be husband is _stroking another man's chest._

Green eyes widen in horror as white-gloved hands curl around Ciel's chin… and the two men kiss softly, hidden from all eyes but her own.

She gasps, a hand flying to her mouth in shock. _What did she just see?_

A voice rings out behind her. "Well, this is a surprise! Lizzy darling, how I've missed you."

Lizzy turns to see Annaline, an empty-headed girl who Lizzy never particularly cared for, bounding up. Annaline pulls short, her small brown eyes squinting. "Hey… why are you crying?"

Lizzy blinks rapidly and touches a glove to her cheek in surprise. "Oh… I must be dazed from the sun."

Annaline nods. "Of course. It's rather bright, isn't it? The sun. Shall we go in?" one hand indicates the open door of the shop.

_Ciel's hands, pressed against Sebastian's chest, stroking the white linen._

_Sebastian's lips, hungry against Ciel's mouth._

_Ciel's lips, equally hungry for Sebastian._

"No, I don't think I want to go into that shop."

**Again, thank you for reading. Quick reminder (in case you didn't know) I don't own anything about Kuroshitsuji. Also, this had a quick edit, so if you spot any errors please (politely) let me know.**


	3. Chapter 3-- That Girl, Alone

**Hello everyone. I'm thinking about updating once a week for a while, like on Thursdays or Wednesdays. If you guys have any stories you'd like to hear about, just comment or PM me. I'm open to suggestions. Again, wow, guys! So many nice reviews, I'm so surprised! Thank you to all my reviewers!**

**This chapter is super sad, set about a year after Ciel and Lizzy's marriage. Not much sexual in this one (I know, I know, you guys probably want more.) Again, I own nothing related to Kuroshitsuji. **

She watches Ciel's large blue eye fill with terror as he sits down. "You… what?"

Lizzy doesn't even pretend to smile anymore. She hasn't smiled in months unless society demands it. Her large eyes are cold and glassy as she watches him. "I'm pregnant. The child should come in a couple months, I believe."

_If only this would make up for me not being _him_…_

He breathes hard, his pretty mouth open in shock. Sebastian stands behind him, one gloved hand softly stroking Ciel's neck. "Why didn't you tell me?" then his mouth snaps shut. "I… I'm not the father, am I?"

At that, Lizzy coughs out a laugh, fiddling with the lace overlay of the table. "Yes, Ciel. You're the child's father. I don't sleep with other men." She bites out the last word, eyes searing into Sebastian like hot knives.

Ciel stands and walks to the window. Outside, clouds boil and raindrops start to fall onto dying roses. "I can't make you happy, can I? I try, Lizzy. But there's only so much I can give you!" His voice is not accusing, not angry, never to her. He sounds… heartbroken. "I only wanted to make you happy as well as I can. Please, see that."

"Make me happy? By sleeping with a man, by giving him the tender care, immortal love you swore to give me the day we wedded? What part of 'love and hold from this day forth' allowed you to slip free." She bites into her lip, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"Lizzy, you don't understand." He crosses to her, tries to touch her face, but she jerks it from his grasp.

"Then tell me! What can he give you that is so much better than me?" She turns to stare into his eye, begging for an answer. "What do I lack?"

His eyes hold hers and inside lies her answer. _You lack everything. You aren't him._

Her jaw clenches as she tries not to sob.

"It's not you, Lizzy. Can't you understand that? There is nothing you could have done to make me want you in the same way. He and I are one, in mind, in body, in soul." He shakes his head, looking back into his monochrome butler's eyes.

Lizzy shakes her head. "By god, I swear he has no soul. I wish I'd never married you!" she sobs, holding her swollen belly.

"I wish it too, for your sake. I was a fool, thinking I could make you happy. You should have married a man who could worship you like you deserve. I've turned you bitter, haven't I?" Large blue eyes fall to stare at the floor in regret. "I wanted to protect you from the cruelties of the world… but I subjected you to eternal damnation at my own hands."

She has no more words, only tears slowly tracing her cheeks as she wonders when her heart became so hard, so alone.

_If only this would make up for me not being _him_…_

_But it can't. _

_I'm simply a useless distraction from their love. _

Outside, clouds boil and raindrops fall onto dying roses.

_The world weeps for Lady Phantomhive._

**Thank you for reading this super-sad chapter. I hope you enjoyed!**


	4. Chapter 4-- That Girl, Living Nightmare

**Hello, everyone! A Christmas fic, yay. It was supposed to be a cute one, like, "Aww, we're happy together and… why is Ciel kissing Sebastian under the mistletoe?" I might try to do that in another chapter. **

**This ended up being a little sadder than I originally planned. In the series so far, Lizzy's been angry at Ciel. Here, she's… lost.**

**I don't own Kuro. Can I stop saying that every freaking chapter by now?**

Lizzy takes Ciel's hand, tiny fingers tucked into his not-much-larger palm. She's holding his arm in a way she knows will make society as a whole gasp over their beauty and whisper of their immortal love.

They're beautiful together, Lizzy's long curls half-braided around her head in a new French style, Ciel's long dress coat in a complementary shade of blue against her pale pink polonaise. She smiles, knowing the cold air will nip a blush into her cheeks that can easily be mistaken for young love and Christmas cheer.

Ciel talks easily to his Uncle Midford as Lizzy fulfills her role as the lovely young wife hanging onto her husband's every word. She rests a golden head on his padded shoulder.

As she always expected, she's much more ornamental at these little parties than her willful, strong mother ever was. She perfectly executes Lady Dalles's training to be the perfect woman: beautiful but silent, another piece of decoration to adorn Ciel's mansion.

Silent, yes, but not stupid. She never was stupid.

As Ciel strolls with the marquis to the carriage, she slips off to kiss a few acquiantences goodbye. She does not particularly care for these girls, but it's expected of her.

She never quite understood how much would be expected of her once she was Lady Ciel Phantomhive. So many things…

A sweetness to her air, taking care never to seem too childish. Wide eyes that reflect joy to her surroundings. Kindness even to the rudest guest. Wisdom to help her husband in small matters. Charity to give the Phantomhive name a hint of benevolence it never had.

_Lady Phatomhive prattles happily with supposed friends who listen carefully for any condemning word. When she convinces them of her blissful marriage, many a face falls._

A beautiful face to mask any ugly emotion lurking underneath.

_Her smile seems to fill the garden as she discusses the sweet things Ciel does for her. Only a trained eye would detect the slight tension around sweet pink lips._

She has to be as strong and as beautiful as the mansion that should be her home… but never is.

_Large green eyes are just a little too happy, just a hair too animated._

She has to be as silent as a child should be.

_As she watches another newly-wedded bride whisper in her husband's ear, her eyes turn a bit misty. Gliding down another path, she laughs and blames it on the cold breeze._

She has to be as sweet as her husband can be cruel, as he struggles to convince her of his love.

_She waves as her acquaintance departs, but once she is out of sight, the little hand drops lifelessly to her side, a puppet with cut strings_.

She is silent, as she's expected to be, but she never has been stupid. She can see under Ciel's careful mask, see down to his very core.

His soul holds no conjugal love, as she saw in her father's sweet looks toward her mother. He is gentle, in bed and out, but no more. There is no passion, no adoration, no devotion.

No, not to her.

_Lady Phatomhive twists her lips into a charming smile as the last of long line of carriages rattles away._

Underneath her cloak, her broken heart throbs.

She turns, heels making a sharp tapping on the frigid stone pathway. Her green eyes, once full of life, look dully onto the ground. With no spectators, she allows herself to stop playing her faithful role.

She is married, bound to a man who cannot love her. She is drowning. She can't breathe. She wants to scream for help, for anyone to save her.

Lizzy Phantomhive is "quite well, thank you," uttered with a tilt of her braided head, as if wondering how anyone can ask when the answer is so obvious.

Every time she has to drag that trite greeting out of her lips, she feels her extremities turn to stone.

She prays to God to save her, to make her die, to let Ciel love her as he should. She begs him to turn Ciel from this sodomy he's so deeply entrenched in. He alone can save them now.

God is not listening. Or if He is, He laughs.

As she turns toward the house, she happens to glance up, into the balcony of the ballroom. Pearly teeth nip into her lip.

In the doorway, highlighted by warm candlelight, Ciel and Sebastain kiss, soft and sweet, hungry for each other, hearts beating as one. As she watches dully, Ciel pulls away, only to stroke his lover's jaw as he kisses down Sebastian's neck. Sebastian's eyes flash. He lifts his petite lover onto the balustrade and, kissing him deeply, works the shirt's buttons free. Ciel moans loudly, calling out the name of his lover, his servant, his one and only.

"Se… Sebastian!"

Lizzy bites through her bottom lip.

Above the doorway, a bit of green catches the light.

_Lizzy had insisted Ciel hang the mistletoe above the door_.

**Poor Lizzy. I'm cruel to her. I love you, Lizzy darling! (You just can't tell).**


	5. Chapter 5-- That Girl, Religion

**Hello, my lovely readers. Welcome back to this truly depraved story. To everyone who said that I'm being terribly cruel to Lizzy… it's true. I started this as a short little piece from Lizzy's view about Ciel and Sebastian's relationship, but honestly this has become much deeper and more meaningful than that. This is very hard, emotionally, for me to write, because Lizzy had her visions of a knight in shining armor whose name was Ciel. But that was so far off reality it hurts when she discovers he's human too. Lizzy's becoming an adult in a painful way. If I could, I would write that Lizzy found her own paramour (preferably female, lol) and lived happily ever after. But that wouldn't be true to this tale.**

**Anyways, my point is that this piece will never get sweet or fluffy. If you wanted a cute Lizzy, please find another fic. If you wanted a happy ending, please find another story. The ending will not leave Lizzy trapped in a nightmare… but neither will it leave her living her dreams. Dreams are good, but reality has to be faced. Plus, bittersweet is fun.**

**Ok, I'll get off my soapbox and give you the story.**

Lizzy has always been her fiancé's shadow, the lovely little thing that prances along behind him.

He was the adorable boy with a tyrant's mind, the child Earl, the business master.

She was his little fiancé, perfectly poised and displayed like a fine French doll. Together, they were the smallest, sweetest couple in England.

Everything he did was to make her happy. She was a perfect little princess.

Until one looked beneath the surface, saw the depraved way the boy looked at his manservant.

Saw the way the manservant looked back.

Lizzy was not stupid. She recognized the signs very, very early.

So she focused his attention on her. She threw fits, exclaimed about cuteness, made certain Ciel was so busy he never had a chance to lust after Sebastian.

She couldn't share him. He was hers and hers alone.

_You can't be his, Ciel. You're too smart to be lured in by the devil._

_Please, please, come back to me. I need you._

And so she smiled and giggled and played the fool just exactly right.

So perfectly no one thought it was an act.

No one thought the pretty, curly-haired child who had the sweetest little manners was the best actress this side of France.

Slowly, as she played the idiot day after day, year after year, she found it harder to distinguish herself from her part.

Was she the fighter or the fool?

She watched as she slowly began to lose her battle. And she wept. Like a child, she wept.

_You aren't just my fiancé, Ciel, my love. You're my life, my light, my air. Without you is death and damnation._

_I don't believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. _

_I believe in Ciel Phantomhive. You are my religion._

_You are my god. _

**Whee. Lizzy backstory. Anyone want some more? **

**Ok, before I go on, I want to warn you. There's a whole "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better" thing going on here between Lizzy and Sebastian (seriously, if you haven't heard of that song, look it up). So, since Lizzy's got one thing going for her that she's pretty sure Sebastian **_**can't **_**do… well, make sure to read the warnings for the next chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6-- That Girl, Ribbons

**Um, yeah. Just a little bitty prompted thingy that I wrote in, like, fifteen minutes. This story has taken over my brain.**

She can feel his arms around her, stroking her cheek. If she closes her eyes, she can pretend it's real.

_She smiles sweetly and takes his hand, barely larger than her own. Walking slowly, she draws him to their bed._

Carefully, the ribbons holding her hair are untied, the lace dropped onto the floor and forgotten.

_He hovers over her prostrated body, face carefully composed. She surges upward to press a feverish kiss to his pretty lips._

She begins to stroke her own torso, across the ribcage, along the hips, never quite daring to reach any lower.

She tries to pretend it's Ciel, lovingly worshiping her body as he should.

_He presses into her as hungrily as she does him, devouring her lips. She smiles._

_She's won._

She cannot open her eyes, or she will remember how he's not there. How he _called out in a breathy moan. 'Uhhng… Sebastian!"_

_He realizes his mistake, tries to withdraw. She stares at him in horror._

"_How am I not good enough?"_

_His mouth opens and closes wordlessly, then he rushes from the room._

She smoothes her nightgown over her cold body. Soon he will return to verify her slumber. Only then will he allow himself to sleep beside her.

He can't touch her, for fear of breaking her heart.

_He stops at the door, glanced back. "Lizzy… it's not that you're not good enough…"_

_She tucks her feet under her nightgown. "I can't make you happy. I can't make you smile. I can't make you want me. What good am I to you?"_

_His silence is her only horrible answer._

**Ok, I PROMISE the next chapter will be happier for Lizzy. Unless you guys are fine with how it's going.**

**Because if so, I can just continue the plot (yes, this story ended up having a plot. I'm shocked too.)**


	7. Chapter 7-- That Girl, In Love

**So, the votes were mostly in favor of dark, but I got a few for light themes, so I'll try to write a little of both. Mostly the light will come toward the end though. **

**(promocat: I promise, Lizzy **_**will not**_** get killed from sadness. Like I think I said, the ending isn't exactly happy, but it's a pretty fitting one, I think.)**

**This chapter does have a warning. It contains mpreg. If you don't like it, I'll be posting another chapter soon and you can just skip over this one (I'll label all mpreg chapters because I know it disturbs people.) Also, I'm going to write this chapter from Ciel's point of view as a one-shot. When I publish it, I'll tell you the name and if you're interested you can read it. It'll probably be a humor story, lol.**

"What do you want, _demon_? Have you come to glory in your superiority? To remind me how inferior I am to you? Perhaps you've come to steal my soul. Or am I too unworthy even for that?" Lizzy cocks her head.

Her lips are pale as venom flows between them. Her once-sweet voice sharpens into poisoned needles sliding under Sebastian's skin.

"My lady, I would never glory over any imagined superiority. I came to tell you your husband wishes to speak with you. Ciel... The young master has some important news." Sebastian bows, one hand pressing against his chest.

"Oh, you call him _Ciel_ now, do you? The two of you are so domestic, you might as well be _married_." She rises to her feet, dancelike in her grace. One hand steadies her swollen belly under her dress.

Sebastian steps forward to take her arm, but she pulls it from his grasp. "Touch me again, and by hell and heaven I'll rip your eyes out." Lizzy balances herself against a table, then walks down the hallway, composed as a queen.

Ciel is sitting in his armchair by the fire, staring into the flickering flames. His eyes reflect the red flames… and Lizzy swears she can see his pupil shrink to a tiny slit, like a cat's eye. "Sebastian… how am I going to tell her? God, it's such a mess."

"Maybe if you'd thought of that before you two began this affair. Ciel, Ciel darling, please. Don't give into him. Don't let the devil ruin your life. You can still be saved! Please, Ciel, come back to me!" She kneels at his feet, staring up at him through her tears.

"Dammit, Lizzy, why don't you see? I was never yours, not the way you wanted. He will not ruin my life, Lizzy. I was ruined before he even came. Can't you see, sweet? He is my salvation." Ciel's eyes drift into his lover's as his wife weeps, prostrated on the floor before him.

Lizzy curls on the floor, one hand wrapped around her abdomen. "After everything I gave you, you want him? Can he give you a family? Can he give you a child?"

Ciel's silence terrifies her.

She turns to look up at him. "Ciel… Ciel, what aren't you telling me?"

Ciel still does not speak, eyes changing from one emotion to another so quickly she can barely register them all: panic, adoration, fear, joy.

Sebastian crosses to stand behind his master. "Lady Elizabeth… we didn't want to tell you this way. However, it seems the best opportunity. I seem to have conceived a child."

Lizzy's weeping abruptly halts as her mind struggles to comprehend what she's just heard. "Wh… what?"

"Lizzy… Sebastian is pregnant. He's carrying our child." Ciel looks up at his paramour with an expression of the deepest wonder.

Lizzy's face twists in horror. "A man, being pregnant?"

They both turn back to her. Her husband looks so _happy_. How can he, with this abomination? "Lizzy, it's not unusual for all demons to become pregnant. They don't work the same way we do. It's even easier if both are demons…" Suddenly his mouth snaps shut. He glances at her, as if to see if she noticed.

She shakes her head, curls falling into her eyes. "So… the child is not yours? It's _his _and some other demon… Oh."

_Oh, god, no._

Ciel raises his eyes from where they've been staring into the fire.

Slowly cobalt-blue eyes burn with hell's fire.

Withdrawing in horror, Lizzy's face twists in horrified terror.

_No, no, not him. If God even listens to me at all, let this not be true!_

"Lizzy… I had to. I couldn't be apart from him. Please, I didn't want to hurt you." Ciel strides toward her, tries to take her hand.

"No! Get away from me! Do you see what he's done to you? You should never have listened to that devil! He tore you away from me." Lizzy struggles with the door handle, but with a gentle flick of his fingers, Ciel locks it.

"Lizzy, he didn't… Why can't you see?"

"Why can't you be faithful to your wife?" she spits, pushing on the door. "If you have any feeling for me, let me leave."

"Lizzy… if you want to leave, to go back to your mother's house… You don't have to say with me…" Ciel begins, stroking her pale cheek.

In that moment, she can almost pretend he cares for her. "I cannot, Ciel. I'm forever tied to you. I can't leave, even though I want to. It would kill me."

She pushes out the door, hurries down the hallway. Collapsing at the door, she sucks air into her lungs for what seems the first time in eternity. Slowly, her racing heart begins to slow.

Through the door she hears low murmurs. Wood scrapes against wood as Ciel draws his chair back. He sighs faintly. "She… she doesn't understand, does she?"

"I'm not even sure I understand your decision, entirely. It wasn't necessary for you to become a demon, my lord." Lizzy can hear the tenderness, the love in his voice.

She hates it. The lying demon, luring her beloved.

_Ciel loved _he_r to begin with… didn't he?_

She presses a hand to the child growing in her womb.

"I had to, Sebastian. I… I couldn't bear the thought of living without you for centuries. Being apart for that long… Although I suppose this puts a kink in the Contract, doesn't it?"

"I have already taken care of that."

Ciel's voice sounds shocked. "What in sweet hell?"

"I am a butler to the Phantomhives, after all. What kind of butler would I be if I could not do such a… well, not exactly simple matter. The new Contract reflects on your new demonic status, and makes my reward a little more… physical. I suppose, in a way, you could call it a Mating Contract. You never did specify what kind of Contract it had to be, and there are limits to Contracts demons can have with each other." The chair groans as Ciel rises. Something thumps on the mantel.

"So… it's official now, isn't it? You are mine, and mine alone for all eternity." Ciel's voice rings with pride. "And this child shall be ours. A child… our child…" He sounds worshipful.

Lizzy bites through her lip. Her bloody is metallic in her mouth.

_He loved me… or did he?_

_We were in love before he left… or were we?_

_Was… was it just me?_

Ciel laughs gently at something Sebastian whispers, and Lizzy hangs her head.

She cannot make him laugh.

She cannot make him smile.

She cannot even bear him a child better than the demon's.

She cannot win.

She cannot make him love her.

_But… what if… he really does? _

**And we're on the path to the end. I have no clue when this story is going to finish. It might be two chapters, it might be, like, ten. Who can say?**

**(Ok, I can. When I get uninspired, or when I get zero reviews, that's when it will end. Reviews are like food. Yum. Please feed your hungry writer!)**


	8. Chapter 8-- That Girl, Hide-and-Seek

**Whee. This is basically SebaCiel and fanservice. Don't kill me if it's terrible. This is the most explicit thing I've ever written (not saying much, really). So… yeah.**

**Oh! I meant to ask. Does anyone want to beta-read this fic? Leave me a review or PM me with your email, and I'll send you the chapter a few days before I publish it. If you can help me with my grammar and the story's flow, that'd be great.**

Lizzy lean against the thick door of her husband's study. The mahogany is cool against her flushed cheek, pink from exertion.

A tiny giggle echoes down the hall. "Maa-maa! Where mama?"

Lizzy giggles. "Come and find me, love! Where's Mama?" She can hear the child's little feet pattering against the marble stairs as she totters up, towards her mother's chambers.

Breathing hard, the golden-haired woman slides down the door to sit indecorously on the floor. Her daughter, just barely two years old, will search for a while before winding her way downstairs.

Lizzy lifts her heavy braid of loose blonde curls from her back. Her muslin dress, trimmed with soft pink lace, is stuck against her back with a sheen of sweat. Her chest heaves as she tries to regain her breath.

Since her daughter's birth, she's been a rather frail woman, short of breath and thinner than society deems fashionable. She's quite unable to attend many high-fashion events, and entertaining guests is very difficult for her.

Lizzy doesn't mind, finding her little Cosette to be as much company as she desires. There is little pretense between the child and her mother. Lizzy doesn't need to wear the mask of a perfect, happy bride.

She can be as angry, as neglected, as lonely as she truly is. If she wants to weep for hours in her bedchamber after yet another plea to her husband to abandon his sinful ways, there is no one to stare after her with judgmental eyes.

She can simply hide her face in her sweet daughter's soft feathers of golden hair, so much like her own. She can kiss the adorable cheeks, pink as Lizzy's were before her fateful marriage.

She can watch the eyes, so solemn and blue, and not find herself wishing the child's eyes were her husband's.

Above her, the child's quiet footsteps echo the empty halls.

Beside her, a soft moan echoes through the door. That moan she knows so well, not from hearing it produced as a result of anything _she _did, hell forbid.

But how often has she heard that heated, panting syllable of complete _need_ , coupled with Sebastian's name?

To her horror, the tiny pat-pat of a child's footsteps begins to echo nearer and nearer.

"Oh, God, Cosette will hear!" she hisses to herself.

"It's all right, I'll figure out something to do," she soothes herself. She strokes her forearm, from wrist to elbow, with a chilly hand.

_When did she begin to talk to herself, to wait for her own reply?_

_When did she begin to drift away from the strong faith her mother had installed in her?_

"Inside. If she doesn't see me in the hall, she won't come down it. She never does."

The tall, dark demon had always scared the little girl. If only she knew what her father was currently doing with said demon in the other room…

Lizzy eases the door of the study open and slips in, barely shutting the door before hearing Cosette call out, "Mama? Mama here?"

_No, little one. Pitter away on your innocent little feet._

_Don't discover the depravity that lurks in the shadows._

"Ahhh… Sebastian…"

Lizzy freezes in the doorway, not bold enough to turn, not strong enough to stay still.

A moment's hesitation, then she decides Carefully, she peeks behind her shoulder.

She's struck, not with horror at the sight of the sin so brazenly performed in a dignified home, but with the…

Love.

She can almost _feel _the love. The way her husband moves against Sebastian, with every gentle touch, with every feathery kiss.

He never treated her like that, like an idol, like a god. He was polite, gentle, considerate. Each time she would whimper from the strange feeling of being stretched, he would ever-so-politely inquire whether she wished to continue.

She wanted him to be savage, to take her hard as if she was Sebastian.

Instead, he would press ever so gently, as if she was made of porcelain.

Ciel kneels on his desk, back towards her, body mostly hidden by his lover. Both are bare and sweating. Sebastian is doing… _something_… with one hand that makes Ciel produce the most arousing moans.

Sebastian glances at the door, once, and she ducks back into the shadows, not caring to let him see she's the spectator to such a deed.

The raw hunger, lust, worship for Ciel is engraved into every curve of his face. His eyes are lit with the brightest hellfire she's ever seen. As he turns away, his white hips move forward and Ciel whimpers, unable to decide if he's feeling pain or pleasure.

From the intensifying of the moans, pleasure is winning.

The deed itself is not so different with a man and a woman, she discovers after a few moments of peeping with ever-reddening cheeks. The mechanics are truly… the same.

_What makes one so evil, and the other a requirement? _

Lizzy shakes her head to free it from its wicked thoughts.

Sebastian shudders, pulls his little lover against his chest to stroke Ciel's flushed cheeks. Ciel slumps against Sebastian's back wearily. "Little one… are you all right?"

Ciel, groaning through clenched teeth, nods shakily. "Hurts… always does, you know… Kiss me?" He tilts his head back needily.

Sebastian obliges hastily, and Lizzy can feel his concern for his master. In a few moments, Ciel is again moaning. "Hmm… nnn… harder…"

Even as the copulation becomes frantic in its pace, there is an overwhelming sense of tenderness, of care.

Lizzy expected to see two demons attacking each other like rabid dogs, each seeking whatever pleasure they could.

She expected to see a child forced to do immoral deeds, simply a toy for a stronger being.

She never expected this. She never expected to see the love she saw in her father's glances to her mother.

The love she wishes to see in Ciel's gazes to her.

Ciel screams out Sebastian's name. Lizzy watches, eyes dark and thoughtful. Finally she turns away, slips out the door, up to her chamber. Cosette has fallen asleep on her mother's bed, rose-pink cheeks pressed against the soft coverlets.

Lizzy pinks up her child, presses a kiss to her baby-soft curls.

"Your father is with his lover, little one. I watched them, I couldn't help myself. And I realized something, my baby."

Lizzy sighs, holds her child tighter. Her eyes close, dark lashes brushing a gaunt, pallid cheek.

"Sebastian makes him happy," she whispers. "Happy."

**Oh, god, I suck at fanservice. I can't write anything explicit. I have failed in this chapter, I know. Forgive me! ~bows~ **

**I will try to make the next one better.**


	9. Chapter 9-- That Girl, Childbirth

**Heya, everyone. I've given up trying to update weekly. Updates will be sporadic (like I am.) **

**The Reviewer (the guest who left me such a nice review), thank you so much for your inspiring words. Sometimes this story can be so hard to write and I feel like a failure. But each and every time someone leaves a review or a favorite, it becomes so much easier to write. I read every single one of your reviews (many times) and the things you say influence the next few chapters. If so many people hadn't reviewed, I think this story would have been abandoned on my hard drive. Seriously, you people ROCK. I love you all ~worships statue of readers~.**

**This one has a one-line mention of mpreg, but it really doesn't enter the story at all. **

**BTW, I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Cosette (isn't she the cutest thing?) I really love her, so please, don't take my baby away!**

Light pink nails dug into her own pale skin. Thinnest muslin sticks to her arching back, damp with sweat even in the middle of winter.

The midwife's apprentice watches her with fearful eyes. "My lady… the child isn't turning right. I'm afraid you might lose it."

Lizzy glares at the younger girl as sweat drips off her scarlet face. _Oh, that's helpful to tell me now. _"I am… Ahh!" she breaks off in a heavy pant. "Not losing the baby!" She rises up on her forearms, pressing her legs deeper into the bed and lets out a scream loud enough t rip at her vocal chords.

"Ah! God!" She's not certain whether she's begging with the deity or cursing Him.

Most likely a profane blend of both. A corruption of the Christian religion instilled in her when she was just a child lisping near her mother's skirts.

The girl, apron splattered with Lizzy's blood, pulls on Lizzy's arm. "Come on. On your knees."

Lizzy groans, rolling forward to kneel on the edge of the bed, bracing her back against her headboard. Her body quakes with another strong contraction as she struggles to birth her baby.

She can faintly detect urgent whispers in the hall. The doctor and one of the maids are murmuring in the hall. "She shouldn't have tried for this child. She's too fragile to bear one. I'm afraid this one might be killing her."

The maid's voice is slightly quieter. She can't make out the words, just a soothing buzz, like a vibrating harp string.

Lizzy strains against her wooden bed frame, trying desperately to let her child take its first breaths. Her skull bumps into the wall as she throws her head back.

Her hips groan, her spine complains. She feels as if the child is a demon ripping her apart.

For all she knows, the child might be. Who knows when Ciel's paramour corrupted him, made him a demon?

She might be birthing Satan's spawn.

With one final, excruciating scream, the child's feet slip free from her mother's body. Lizzy drops back against the pillows, panting and moaning. "Ah… hah… Where is the child?"

The midwife bustles into the room and cradles the child. "Hush, now, my lady. We need to get her all cleaned up, don't we?"

"She?" Lizzy's voice is weak.

"Aye, your Grace. You've had a lovely little girl." The woman takes a warm, wet cloth and wipes the child off. Then she dips her into a basin of warm rosewater. Finally, she places a drop of honey on the child's lips [**see author's note**]

Finally, she wraps the child in the softest cotton. Lizzy reaches out for the child.

Once holding her, she cradles the child against her body. Green eyes widen as she takes in her newborn.

Underneath pink cotton peep silky strands of light, gold hair, curling just like her mother's. The child's face, round with pink cheeks, has an air of sweetness. As Lizzy watches, the tiny mouth opens in a sleepy yawn. Long lashes just barely brush the velvet skin of her cheekbones.

Finally, the eyes open, and Lizzy finds herself staring into her child's eyes. Bright blue the color of the Phantomhive ring on Ciel's finger and mature enough to look like she knows every thought Lizzy's thinking. Wide and innocent, yet somehow knowing.

When the baby grows, she'll look the most innocent cherub, and yet Lizzy knows, just from looking at her child, that the baby has a purely Phantomhive mind. Sharper than a blade, more finely tuned than an instrument.

Just like her father.

Lizzy glances up at the maid. "Is Earl Phantomhive here?"

The girl's cheeks flush as she shakes her head. "He sent a letter, though, your Grace."

_Ah, yes. The 'case' Her Majesty sent him on. _

_More likely, a way for his lover to bear their child without disgrace._

"That's all right. Would you write to him and inform him my child has been born?" She turns to the midwife. "Is the Father here?"

"Yes, your Grace. He's waiting in the hall for you." The maid curtseyed.

"Send him in then, please." Lizzy sighed, her head dropping against the pillow. Every muscle in her body weighed a thousand stone. "Gracie, your name was?"

The midwife's apprentice hurried over. "Your Grace, you shouldn't be talking. It can hurt you, miss."

"But… tell the priest. The child's name is Cosette. Cosette Heaven Phantomhive." She had not discussed names for the child with Ciel. He had only known she was pregnant for a few months before her labor, and she disliked talking with her husband in front of Sebastian.

She never could talk in front of her husband.

So she had decided on a name herself. At first, she wished to name the child after her recently departed mother.

She had wanted the name to be an apology for avoiding her mother in her last years.

_She never could wear the mask quite right in front of her mother. She found herself wishing to throw herself at her mother's feet, sob out her confessions of a haunted marriage and worthless vows._

But Lizzy was determined this child would be a new life, not another ghost to haunt her.

Yet she couldn't resist naming it after her husband and after the paradise she had lost.

The child was baptized easily, without much fuss, and soon Lizzy nestled the warm body against her own. She stared down into the sleepy eyes.

"Hello, Cosette. We'll have fun together, won't we? Once you grow up a little, we shall play in the grounds and sing while skipping down the halls. Then I want to teach you how to fence, and how to ride, and… Oh, my little one, there's so much we can do together."

The baby's tiny mouth nursed at its own thumb drowsily.

"We can share secrets. I can tell you one now, if you want. Your father… he hates me, I fear. I despise his lover… but I never wanted his hatred." Her head falls.

The baby turns her face to the side when one of Lizzy's damp locks tickles her tiny nose.

"All I wanted, my Heaven, was his love. I deserve his love, don't I? Am I not his rightly wedded wife?" A tear falls from her face onto the sweat-dotted nightdress she wears.

The baby, now clutched tightly to her mother's chest, opens her eyes, like two stunning sapphires caught on her lashes.

Just like her father's.

Lizzy stares into her child's eyes. Her child, given to her by Ciel.

_Her _child. Her own, to love, to hold.

"Maybe… baby, do you think he could…"

_Love me?_

_Could my husband, my life, my only love… Could he love me? Could he feel even a fraction of the passion that burns my chest?_

It's a ludicrous question, she decides, and curls on her bed, the child tucked into the curve of her body.

**Ok, about the midwife giving the child honey… it was a tradition in some parts of England that was supposed to make the baby heathy. I don't know why. It just was. Apparently honey has magical powers.**

**Also, the child's middle name was an intentional nod to Ciel. (For those who haven't translated it, Ciel can mean sky or heaven. Ironic, isn't it? The boy who contracted a demon being named after Heaven.)**

**Yep, I like Cosette. She's gonna be fun (and totally spoiled). **

**Wow, balancing light and dark in this fic is surprisingly hard.**


	10. Chapter 10-- That Girl, True Love

**M-preg again. When I publish an m-preg chapter, I try to publish another chapter so people who don't like m-preg have something to read. So expect the second chapter soon.**

**Anyone want a Christmas fic? Send me prompts and I'll write it (send the prompt through the comments, a PM, or I guess you could go on my Tumblr, the link's on my profile.)**

**Seriously, dear readers, prompt me. I'm only so imaginative. (Promocat, darling, of course we'll see Sebastian's baby. She's a fun character. The next chapter might be a baby chapter, wouldn't it be cute?)**

A frantic banging on her door wakes Lizzy from a dark dream. She can still feel the black echoes of it on her skin, _Cosette screaming, crying, her delicate skin torn by the sharpened fangs of beasts masquerading as humans…_

"Lizzy! Please, open your door!" Ciel's voice is intense, hushed so not to wake his infant daughter sleeping in the next room.

She slips out of her warm bed, wrapping herself in a blanket. Pulling a brass key from under her nightgown, she slides the lock open. Then she replaces the key, which is warm against her chest.

Ciel slams the door open, his eyes wide, afraid. "Lizzy, please I need your help. It's… it's Sebastian. The child's coming, and I don't know what…" his voice breaks. "Please… I don't know what to do."

She raises a fair brow. "Help him? Why would I help him?"

Ciel takes her face in his hands, stares her straight in the eyes. She tries to pull back, shocked, but he holds her firmly. "Lizzy. Do it for me. I need him."

Lizzy looks at her husband, trying to see in his eye, trying to determine what Ciel can see in the demon. The eyepatch blocks her view.

_The eyepatch_. The sign of the Contract between the two. Born of necessity, kept out of love.

Sebastian didn't need to make Ciel a demon. Ciel wanted it.

How much Sebastian does because his master wants it. She has never seen a butler have that kind of tender care for his master.

_The eyepatch_. Sometimes it manages to soften the looks Ciel gives Sebastian. Sometimes the enamoured glances are hidden.

But never very much, because Ciel loves him.

In that moment, she realizes why she hates Sebastian.

Because… he had Ciel first. She never had a chance… his heart was already gone.

It wasn't a question of marriage. What is marriage but yet another Contract between two beings, born of necessity, kept out of love?

In that light… Ciel was never hers to have. She could never have the somber boy who came back from hell's mouth. She could never have the sharp-minded adolescent who laughed at danger.

He is Sebastian's… Sebastian is his.

And if she does nothing, Sebastian will be gone, and so will Ciel.

"All right. Where is he?" Tightly wrapping the blanket around her fair shoulders, Lizzy glances around the room.

"In my room. We were… talking… and suddenly he asked me to fetch you. I didn't understand until… God, he's having our child…" Ciel covers his face with both hands. "What if something goes wrong and I lose him…?"

Lizzy glances at him. "Ciel, I need you to concentrate. I can't simply go in there and deliver your baby. I need supplies… towels, a sheet, oil, a few pillows… oh, some thread. And boiling water!" Rushing over to her nightstand, she opens a drawer and withdraws a pair of sewing scissors.

Ciel breathes hard for a few seconds, then nods. "I'll wake Bard. He'll be the most help to us."

Green eyes glance at him in a panic. "What will you tell him, that your demonic lover is delivering his first child? Ciel, you need to get everything yourself."

"Dammit, Lizzy! I don't have to give him a reason, but I need his help. Just… go, love. Please!"

Lizzy watches him a few seconds, then rushes down hallways and up stairs. She flies into Ciel's bedroom.

The sight of Sebastian, always composed and polite, sprawled on a bed with his back arching in agony shocks her. She gasps, covers her mouth with her hand.

Sebastian trembles then glances at her. His eyes rage with hell's passionate fires. "Lady Elizabeth…" his voice, so weak and strained, is horrible to hear. "Thank you, my lady."

She nods once.

She has not forgiven him… but she will not let him die.

"Is your inner anatomy… like a female's?" she asks quickly.

He pulls in a labored breath, then gives a short nod. "I… yes. I am almost fully in a female form. Only my outer appearance is…" he grits his teeth, canines sharpening. "Is nearly masculine."

Lizzy nods, then frowns. "You haven't been in labor for long, so I've heard. Don't push yet, Sebastian. Push now and it'll hurt worse than anything you've ever felt."

Sebastian nods, his eyes closing in concentration. "I must warn you… demonic births… are notoriously messy… and painful…"

"Just don't wake my child." Despite her bold words, Lizzy searches for something to put in his mouth to silence any screams.

Soon Ciel's footsteps resound in the hall.

Sebastian glances up, eyes wide.

If it wasn't Sebastian, Lizzy would say he was panicking. "It's Ciel, Sebastian. He's returning with the supplies I asked for. It's all right, calm yourself."

A muscle in Sebastian's jaw tightens, but he doesn't speak.

Ciel knocks on the door and enters, sweating from exertion.

When he sees his lover, pale and nearly swooning from agony, on the bed, Ciel looks afraid, eyes widening and thin chest heaving. Lizzy watches the two for a moment.

Sebastian whispers something.

"What?" She leans closer to try to hear.

His whisper is parched, dryer than death. "Send him away. Please. I am a butler to the Phantomhives… he cannot see me like this. I cannot show him this weakened form."

She is tempted to laugh at him, to mock him for wanting to save his precious reputation.

A whimper from Ciel stops her. His eye is wide, so wide the blue is almost overtaken by his pupil. His face, always pale, is the color of the linen she embroiders. He is shaking unconsciously.

"Sebastian?" In that moment, Ciel is no longer Earl Phantomhive, clever as a fox and ruthless as a demon.

He is the little boy she played with. He is the child who trembled when his auntie's baby died, who shed quiet tears over a dead bird in the garden.

He watches Sebastian, his salvation, his life… and the demon butler looks nearly dead.

Ciel Phantomhive, Queen's Guard Dog and Earl of Phantomhive, is afraid.

Lizzy takes Ciel's arm. "Come," she whispers, guiding him from the room. "I need you to take care of Cosette. If she wakes, hold her and read to her, would you? Don't be afraid if he screams, Ciel. Birhts are messy things."

He trembles, eye focused on empty air. The blue orb turns to her. "I need to see him. I need to stay."

Grabbing his shoulders, she forces him to look at her. "But you'll distract him, and that might kill him. Do you want your baby to live? Do you want Sebastian to live? Then Go. Take care of. Cosette." Her voice is low, deadly, reminding them both that she is not just a sweet wife and caring mother.

She's also the best swordswoman in England. She's the daughter of the house Midford and the wife of the house Phantomhive. She will not back down.

"Go."

And he does. First walking, then running, trying to escape before his lover's scream.

Lizzy turns back to the darkened room. Her eyes are determined, dark.

"All right, Lizzy. You can do this."

_Woohoo. This is a time break. La, la, la. Don't mind me, just a timeskip. Oh, look at the pretty clouds. Ok, sufficient time-skip. Byeeeee! Wow, I need more sleep._

Just as the final stars are fading from the sky, Lizzy is holding a blood-streaked, wailing infant. The child's eyes fade to a bright blue as she wails her complaints t the cold world she's just entered.

Lizzy glances at Sebastian. "You have a daughter, Sebastian. A lovely girl. Do you have a name?"

Ciel's hushed voice echoes through the room. "Odette. We want to name her Odette."

Lizzy turns and smiles at Ciel, who stands in the doorway.

Lizzy's limp hair is slicked against her head with sweat, and traces of black demonic blood streak her face. In her arms the demonic girl wails. She holds the child out to Ciel. "Here. Hold your daughter."

The child, wrapped in dark cotton, sees her father. Her wailing stops and she smiles. Slowly, angry blue eyes brighten to happy crimson irises.

Ciel smiles at the babe. "Hello, Odette."

The baby gurgles in response.

Ciel crosses to the bed, where Sebastian watches the two out of nearly-closed eyes. "Here, Odette. It's your… it's Sebastian." The earl curls next to his lover on the bed. "Sebastian, do you want to hold your daughter?"

Sebastian's eyes flutter closed. "My lord… you can continue holding her if you wish." Ciel smiles gently, resting his head on Sebastian's shoulder.

Lizzy smiles. She quietly turns, slips into the hall, and closes the door.

**Mmm, next chapter MUST contain Odette and Cosette. Two cuties in one chapter… aww…**


	11. Chapter 11-- That Girl, Princess

**Baby cuteness. Aww, the little ones… Odette was adopted by Ciel and Lizzy after they claimed she'd been left on their doorstep, so now she's officially Lizzy's daughter (it's not really interesting enough to warrant a whole chapter, so hopefully you're reading this author note).**

**Right now, Odette (Sebastian and Ciel's child) is, maturity-wise, around 2 and a half. Demonic pregnancies take longer than human ones, and they mature more slowly, so even though she seems young, she might be around… say, five? That would make Cosette almost seven.**

**In case no one saw… Anyone want a Christmas fic? Send me prompts and I'll write it (send the prompt through the comments, a PM, or I guess you could go on my Tumblr, the link's on my profile.) The next chapter or two will be the last before Christmas, because I need to spend time with my family. Sorry **

"Come, girls! Father is out today, which means we can do whatever we wish."

Cosette turns to her mother, gold curls flying around her little head in a virtual cloud. "Mama, we can always do as we wish."

Odette blinks up at the two, her round red eyes solemn. "Mama, mama, play!" Her face twists up in a serious expression, as always.

Lizzy smiles at her two girls. "Of course we shall, Odette. What shall we play?" Her daughters, one hers by birth and the other hers by adoption, frown in thought.

She has been happier in the past year than she has been in the five years past. She has finally come out of the personal hell of five years with only her torturous thoughts for company. She can finally learn to smile again, to play with her children, to have the warmth of another next to her all day.

"Princess! Princess and monster!" the two exclaim together, Cosette bouncing in place. Wide-eyed Odette stares up at her mother, silent as usual, as her sister begs, "Please? Please please please? We've been so good!"

"Well…" Lizzy begins teasingly. "Perhaps, if you're _very_ good, and treat Miss Mey-Rin very nicely, perhaps we'll have a picnic and play Princesses and Monsters today."

Cosette pouts a bit at this, but the brightens. "For the picnic we ought to have those cucumber sandwiches… and chicken… and lemonade!"

Lizzy laughs, her laugh full of life and light. "Lemonade? It's the middle of winter, my silly one!"

Cosette shrugs and takes her sister's hand. Odette begins to suck on her pinkie and gaze around the room with bored eyes , quickly fading to an unhappy blue. "Dette likes lemonade, because it tastes like that good stuff that my fathers eat. At least, that's what she says."

Lizzy glances at her bedroom's door, checking to see if the maid overheard.

There was never a good way to explain to her purely human child that the "good stuff" she sometimes saw her father and Sebastian, whom Cosette thought was her other father, consume was actually the condensed immortal souls of murdered humans. So when Odette began to require souls as well, Cosette wanted to try it. Lizzy had been forced to spin a wild tale about Cosette being a fairy princess and the shimmery mist her "fathers" brought back was a magical potion that turned the rest of them into fairies too.

"_Why don't you eat it then, Mama? It looks good… like sugar swirls!" Cosette blinked sweetly and tilted her head, golden curls falling out of a sweet velvet bonnet. _

"_Because… Because I'm a fairy, too, my sweet. And someday Odette will be a fairy, too. And we'll all three live in a fairy palace together. And we'll play, and sing, and eat truffles!" She knelt down then and gently rubbed her nose against Cosette's little one. _

_The child giggled. "What about my fathers? Ciel And 'Bas? Are they gonna be fairy princes?"_

_Lizzy turned, looked down at the child sadly. "No, love. They're only eating the sugar swirls to stay with you, because they love you. I fear, once you're gone… I shall never see them again."_

_Cosette blinked, her face falling. Then, sporadically, she hugged her mother, tiny arms strangling her mother's slight waist. "But, Mama, they love you too," she whispered._

_Lizzy's tears had glistened as they dropped onto her child's sun-gold hair. "No, little one. They don't."_

"Mama? Mama!" Cosette's sweet voice brought Lizzy back to the present. "Are you all right? You went all white again." Tiny hands pat Lizzy's pale cheeks

She sighs deeply. "Oh… I'm feeling faint. But that's all right. Since your fathers aren't here, you all must play instead of taking lessons. Go on, my loves. Go into the garden."

The two cherubs nod seriously, then Cosette helps Odette to her feet. Carefuly, the blonde child leans down to make sure her sister's little boots are properly tied so she doesn't trip. "All right, Odette, we can go. Let's look at the roses!"

The raven-haired toddler scowls at her feet, which refuse to move as quickly as she wants. "Wait for me! Wait, Zete!"

The two children run out of the room. Lizzy hears their happy shouts filling up the too-long empty mansion.

She's missed that, she realizes. She's missed the sound of voices ringing through the empty halls, the steady thumping of children's feet as they run in the rooms.

She's missed smiling. She's missed any emotion besides hate directed towards her. She's missed loving.

She's missed being loved.

**Yup. Angst again. **

**Love my readers! You guys are the reason I keep writing, the reason I live and breathe this story. You guys are the reason this story happens. I can't thank you enough for following and reviewing.**


	12. Chapter 12-- Odette

**Ok, awesomeness! I got two prompts, and since one of them was Christmas-y (heeeey, Nishikikouji) I wanted to do that one first (with the Yule season coming up and so.)**

**La Rumba va sola (the guest who left me another prompt), I promise I'm working on your chapter (and since I'm writing it second, I might make it a little longer). Both prompts were awesome, guys. THANK YOUUUU! I love prompts.**

**Oh, and even though this story is supposed to be completely written from Lizzy's point of view, I thought it fit better if I wrote it from Odette's perspective. **

"'Kay, Dette, you got it?" Cosette turns to look at her little sister. Both girls are decked in their warm nighties, plump legs bare to the chill air of Christmas Eve.

"Got it," murmurs Odette, twisting a silken lock of black hair around her pinkie. She is rather confused about the whole thing. Why is a fat old man in a suit going to slide down the chimney when they have a perfectly good front door? And he is going to bring her presents for being good?

Just yesterday she'd set the garden-house on fire (completely on accident, of course. Well… kind of.) So setting things on fire was being good?

Father Christmas was confusing.

"Finny said that he'd be on the rooftop tonight with his sleigh, but Father said that it was just a sham, and there is no Father Christmas." Cosette peeped out her bedroom window, trying to see the roof.

Odette sighs. Did it matter whether he was real? As long as she got presents (and a piece of the Christmas pudding), she was happy.

"Tonight we're gonna find out who's right, all right, Dette? First, build a fire in the fireplaces." Cosette squinted at the piece of paper in front of her and drew a rather shaky stick with wavering lines above it.

Odette thought it looked more like a reed sinking in the pond by their manson, but she didn't say anything. "Don't fo'get the cookies," she muttered, nibbling her pinkie.

"Right." Quickly, the blonde child scribbles down 'kidnap Christmas cookies' then pauses. "Wait… would it be 'cookie-nap'? 'Cause we're not stealing kids…"

Odette shakes her head, shorter locks of her inky hair whipping into her face. "Huh-uh. Because Father gets kidnapped a lot, and he's not a kid. An' Papa says that anyone can be kidnapped, so…" she trails off and begins frowning at the wall. There's a particularly strong sense of… huh?

"Whatcha doin', Dette?" Cosette turns to her twin. "You got the _look_ again. Whatcha smell?"

"Sharp. Sweet. A little dark… fear, maybe? Uh-uh, nope, like… intentisty. Kind of when Papa does all that kissy stuff wif Father and Mama tells us to go play in the garden, but I can still hear them banging on the walls."

"Oh. Just Papa and Father?" Cosette shrugs. "Are we gonna guard the halls this year?"

"What 'bout the roof? I learned how to fly!" Odette spreads her chubby arms, flapping them wildly and making her nightgown whip around her.

"I can't though… Hey! I can watch the kitchen, because that has the biggest fireplace. Dette, help me with the fire though."

The two little girls nod seriously, ready to prove once and for all if Father Christmas is real.

**Yep. Another time break. ~throwing a mini party~ ooh, and now let's catch up with Finny and the crew! You ready? Woohoooooo!**

"All right, now this thing," Bard tightens a strip of black leather around Tanaka's waist, "needs to be real tight to keep the stuffin' in, got it?"

Finny giggles a little at the sight of proper Tanaka dressed up in a flowing red fur gown with holly branches around his neck. "Here, Mr. Tanaka. Do you think you can carry this around? I can carry it to the ballroom for you if ya need me to."

Tanaka hoists the large bag onto his back. "Ho, ho, ho. I can handle this, young man. I was the Phantomhive butler for many years before you were born."

Finny grins. "Whelp, I'm going to the kitchen to eat the cookies the kids left out!"

Bard reaches out and ruffles his friend's sun-bleached hair. "Go ahead, kid. Have fun."

Finny blushes happily and trots off down the corridor. Soon, he bustles into the kitchen, breath huffing as he hurries.

On the table, he spies the white china plate the girls carefully laid out for Father Christmas's snack. Finny begins to run over, then slides to a halt.

The cookies are gone. Written on a piece of white paper in childish scribbles are the words,

"Santa. Want your cookies? Come to the ballroom. You have to hand over the presents to get the cookies."

Finny swallows. Hard.

Convincing the children Father Christmas is real is a little harder than he thought.

**Yup. This is a character shift. Does anyone actually read my character shifts? Like, would anyone notice if I gave major spoilers for movies and stuff?**

Odette perches on the chimney to the ballroom. She frowns at the sky.

_I wish Father Christmas would hurry up. It's cold and I want presents._

Rubbing little arms, she blows on her pale fingers. Then she hears a thump below.

"Zete? That you?" She slides off the cold brick chimney and toddles to the roof edge. Peeping over, she tries to strain her neck to look through the window.

Her plump hands slip on the snowy roof's edge.

A child's wordless wail fills the night air as the raven-haired child slides from the roof. The white nightgown flaps around her like baby bird's wings, not strong enough to stop her fall.

Cosette, hearing her sister scream, runs from where she was mixing honey and rubber adhesive to coat the floor. She spies her little sister tumbling through the icy night.

Her screams join her sister's.

"Father! Father, quick!"

**Ok, this is yet another character shift. I know, this chapter isn't as good, but I've been seriously busy. The time skips are mostly because I wanted to get Finny's thoughts on parts of it.**

Finny rushed from the kitchen, up the marble stairs (he nearly slipped and cracked his head on the smooth stone), and down the hall into the ballroom. After completing a particularly spectacular tumble into a bust of Beethoven (he began to cry when his knee slammed into the wall), he tumbled into the ballroom.

In time to see Duchess Phantomhive's adopted daughter falling from the roof.

**TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFTY THIIIIIIIIIIIING**

Odette screeched as she struggled to remember what Papa 'Bas had told her to do.

"Extend your arms," she muttered. "Breathe deeply. Curl your legs under your body."

Slowly, as the toddler got her raging emotions under control, her fall began to slow, then halt at a foot above the pavement. She opened one scared blue eye and peeped at the pavement beneath her. She began to giggle, bobbing up and down in midair.

Above her, there was a loud thump as Finny fainted.

Odette landed carefully on her feet. She then dropped back to lay panting on the snow-covered ground.

The stars were black diamonds set in a puddle of ink, some blues, others red. Just like her eyes. She always liked her blue eyes best. They were like her Father's eyes.

Then she saw it…

A figure, dressed in a long red robe and draped with holly branches, chuckling "ho-ho-ho!" as he walked across to Finny in the ballroom. She gasped, sitting upright.

"Father Christmas," she whispered as her fathers came rushing out the door, scolding her. "Father Christmas is real."

**Um, yeah. Not my best chapter yet. But actually, writing has been hard, because my parents found out I'm lesbian and ARE. NOT. HAPPY. Sooo, updating might not be as frequent. I will try, though. I know a lot of you like how often I update, so I will try.**


	13. Chapter 13-- That Girl, Demon (Pt 1)

**La Rumba Va Sola (a guest) left me an interesting prompt… and I added a bit of this and a spoonful of that, and well… it might be two or three chapters long.**

**Any time there is bold print in the story, READ IT. Otherwise, you might miss a warning. **

**Also, there might only be two or three chapters left in this story… I'm getting discouraged for no really good reason… ooh, if someone wants to beta-read, they can (**_**whispers**_**: BETA-READ ME.) **

**Oh… this is set a couple months after Lizzy discovers that Sebastian is pregnant (to people who didn't read the m-preg chapters… whoops. I just spoiled them. Sorry.)**

**This has minor m-preg, but seriously, you might want to read it anyways. Ever wondered what Ciel looks like in demon form?**

Lizzy knocks on the door. The quiet _tap-tap-tap _of her knuckles against mahogany is lost in the emptiness of the hall. After knocking politely, she folds her gloved hands in front of her.

Strange. Here she is, soon to be a mother, and yet she has never felt younger. Like a child who needs reprimanding for some trivial offense.

Ciel opens the door, yawning, both eyes uncovered. In the pale morning light, his Marked eye seems a bright lavender, the Contract Mark nearly invisible. With a shudder, she recalls the horror she felt when she first saw it.

**Warning. Ciel/Lizzy awkwardness follows. Some of you may be squicked by it, so if that's the case, skip until the next bolded part.**

_Lizzy smiles at her husband, plucking gently at the thin shift covering her. "Covering", she decides, is a rather generous term for the nearly see-through cloth that reveals every curve of her warm body. _

"_Ciel," she breathes, reaching out to tuck a lock of hair behind his ear. Then her fingers drop to play with the plain blue studs adorning his earlobes._

_He swallows thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing in his long, milky white neck. _

_In her arousal, she mistakes his flushed cheeks for desire, not disgust. She draws him closer, pulling him down to press a fervent kiss against his lips. She waits for him to kiss back._

_Instead, he pulls away, looks down at her in revulsion. "Lizzy… please, don't!" He turns away from her, trying to leave._

_She reaches out with one pink-nailed hand and grabs for him, trying to keep him with her._

_Her fingers catch on his eyepatch, which rips off. She stares at the patch dangling from her fingers like spoils of a war._

_He turns, stares at it in terror, then realizes his eye is bare for her to see. Oh, he tries to cover it, shielding it from her view with both his hands. He tries to stutter out an explanation, an excuse, anything._

_Lizzy stares at him, eyes bright in shock. She recognizes the symbol engraved on his eye, filling the room with hellish light. _

_She is not so naïve as to mistake its meaning. _

"_Sebastian." Her whisper is quiet, ever so quiet, and yet deafening. "You've made a contract with the devil… with Sebastian. He's not just your lover, is he? He's corrupting you. He's led you astray."_

_She begins to tremble, smiling inanely in her shock. "And I thought… it was something I lacked… but it was just the devil luring you in…"_

_Ciel closes his eyes and whispers his demon's name. She stares at him._

"_Ciel, give him up! You do not need to give into temptation!"_

_The door creaks open and the master of Hell himself is outlined in light. Ciel walks out of the room stiffly, trying not to run._

_To run to the devil._

_Before the two leave, her husband turns back to look at her. His eyes, both uncovered now, shine with his strong spirit. _

"_I am not giving into temptation, Lizzy. I gave into temptation six years ago when I summoned him. I am not facing damnation. I have already been damned." He closes his eyes, the pentagram on his right eye glowing through the fragile skin of his eyelid._

"_I have fallen into a magnificent depravity. And I find I do not want to leave."_

**Those of you who didn't read that part missed a pretty cool Ciel-being-awesome part, just sayin'.**

Lizzy raises her head, doll-like face framed by smooth locks of hair. She catches a reflection of herself in his Marked eye and remembers how he declared himself depraved.

_You do not know what depraved is, my darling, my only. _

"Ciel… make me a demon. I want to be a demon with you."

_And I am continually discovering just how deep I am in this blessed corruption._

Ciel watches her solemnly for a few minutes. His pupils are huge, nearly devouring the hopeful blue of his eyes.

When Lizzy's child is born, she hopes the little one has his eyes. She wants to discover what it's like to watch those eyes light up in joy because of _her_, no other.

"Lizzy… please, don't ask me to do this." She can barely hear his voice as it drowns in the hall.

Her eyes drift closed. In fear? In anticipation? At this point, she can't tell the difference. Every emotion is just a warm buzz awakening her from her usual oblivion.

"Ciel. You don't understand. I need you to do this. Can't you try? For me?"

He turns, tears his eyes from her face. "I… can't."

She feels her chest heat. "Is that all you can do, turn away from me in horror? Why won't you do this, do you not want your wife to be a constant distraction from your lover?" She bites into her lower lip. The child in her womb seems to sense her anger and begins to kick. "Ciel, please! If you ever felt anything toward me, at least try!"

He begins to speak, then halts. "…Why? Why do you want this?"

_Don't you know? I need to see you, to watch you. It doesn't matter if I have to watch you with _him_, if only he can make you happy. I no longer expect love from you._

_If I can simply be there, knowing you live in the same house as me, knowing the air I breathe in has at some point touched your holy lips, then I am happy._

_I need you. I need you._

_You're all that's left._

_You're all that's ever been._

_You are my reason for living. _

"I don't want this, Ciel. I need this." Finally, she lifts her head. Her every muscle weighs seven stone. Staring into his eyes, she watches hell's flame burn away the sacred blue.

His soft lips part, a tiny puff of air is expelled.

"All right, Lizzy. Come in."

Lizzy steps into his room. It's warmer than she remembers, with a fire snapping cheerily in the fireplace. Sebastian is reclining on Ciel's… their bed. His stomach is just beginning to swell with the beginnings of pregnancy, pushing out the thin nightshirt he wears. One bare hand is gently curled against the soft curve, stroking it as he reads.

"Young master, who was…?" Sebastian looks up, locks eyes with Lizzy. His surprised expression wrinkles into a worried one. "Lady Elizabeth. Is everything all right?" He begins to rise, but Ciel hurries to his side.

"Sebastian, lay down. You'll hurt the child. Lizzy… Lizzy has a favor to ask of you."

Lizzy looks from one demon to the other. "Ciel, please. I want you to do it." _I don't trust him._

Ciel shakes his head, blue-grey hair hiding his pale-pretty face from her view. "I can't, Lizzy. It's… best… if he does it."

"No! No, Ciel, please, my love. I can't… I can't have him do it."

"Lizzy, understand. _I can't do this."_

Sebastian, glancing between the unhappy couple, coughs delicately. "Master Ciel… I'm afraid Lady Elizabeth will win this round. I cannot perform the necessary ceremony to convert a mortal into the immortal. It would destroy my essence from the core."

Lizzy glances at him. Now that she notices it… she can see a certain sickly pallor under his usually pale skin. His eyes, usually brighter than the rubies on her favorite dress, are dull and tired.

"What do you mean, you can't do this? You were able to perform it for me very well… and it was after you had conceived." Ciel takes his paramour's limp hand, small thumb stroking the milky skin.

"That was different, my love. With our Contract, we were already joined very strongly. The child only cemented our bond. But I have no real connection to Lady Elizabeth. I am her faithful servant and I always shall remain as such… however, she has no greater claim to me."

Ciel blushes deeply, cobalt eyes softening as he smiles a bit. He leans closer to his lover, placing a hand under the swell of their child, still in the womb.

Lizzy lets out a delicate cough, glaring at the pair as they straighten. "Does it matter who turns me, as long as it's… done?"

Sebastian leaned back against the headboard. "The person who takes away your mortality will have a bond with you stronger than any other. If done improperly, though… your body will explode and your soul will burn in the greatest agony imaginable by the human mind."

Lizzy swallows hard, face paling to paper-white. She pushes her hair away from her face nervously. "Explode?"

Ciel swallows hard, blinks. His eyes darken to almost black. "I can't do this. I can't chance killing you."

"If you don't, you guarantee my death. What would you prefer?" Lizzy wants to reach out for her husband, to draw him away from the devil.

_It's too late, isn't it?_

_Too late for you, too late for him._

_You both are falling, ingrained in this sin of your own willing, unable to escape._

_Unable to escape, even if you wanted._

Ciel growls, low in his throat, resting his fist on the wall next to his bed. His eyes squeeze shut, long black lashes glistening with unshed tears. His pale hands quiver in small tremors. Sebastian reaches a black-nailed hand out to him, as if to comfort him, but then draws it away.

Lizzy gouges into her lower lip, not noticing when her teeth draw a bead of salty-sweet blood.

A droplet of dark red blood shines on Ciel's pale hands as he digs lengthening black nails into his own palms. Finally, after a painful moment, his eyes turn to hers, so hot and burning with dread.

"If this is what you want, Lizzy. Come, sit down. Sebastian… you'll talk me through this, won't you?" his voice wavers towards the end, pitiful and mewling.

"Of course. First… it will be best if you take your other form." Sebastian inclines his head toward the blue-grey haired man.

The tendons in Ciel's neck strain. "Lizzy… don't be afraid, all right? It's… it's going to be a shock." His eyes flutter closed and he inhales heavily.

Suddenly his head snaps back, his mouth open wide and moaning. Every muscle on his delicate body strains. A bright, almost electric blue glow encases him.

Lizzy clasps her hands together in front of her mouth as two long, feathery appendages sprout from Ciel's thin back. The wings are broad and longer than his body. Slowly they begin to flutter. He hovers in the middle of the room.

Behind him, the fire dances, casting shadows that mock and flicker across the room. He is highlighted in flame, his face contoured by shadow.

His face does not change except for two fangs that rest on his lower lip, waiting for something to rip into. His hair lengthens, brushing just above his shoulders. As his muscles and bones swell, the nightshirt hugging his body splits, leaving him only in a thin blue silk robe.

Finally, the unholy halo shatters. He relaxes, gently settling onto the ground. His face is blissful, relaxed.

Lizzy screams, shoving her chair over to try to get away from the monster with her husband's face. "Oh, my god. Oh, my god!" Her voice breaks.

Ciel snaps to attention, turns to stare at her.

His eyes blaze in the semi-darkness.

Above his head, two ram's horns curl like an ungodly crown.

Lizzy curls into a ball and weeps, unable to distinguish her feeling from panic or desire. Her husband is more beautiful now than ever before, but in a savage, feral way.

"Lizzy, calm down." His voice is deeper, resonating in his chest. It soothes her, telling her to _calm, hush, it's all right…_

"Stop! What are you… how are you doing that?" She strikes his cheek with the back of her hand when he reaches out, his fingers tipped with finely-polished claws.

Immediately Sebastian is restraining her arms with a snarl. "How… dare you_… strike him?" _he growls. Looking up at her enemy, Lizzy sees he too has taken his true form. Nestled in his coarse hair are two arched horns.

"Let her go, Sebastian. Now." Her husband turns to look at the two, his pale mouth curved in a seductive smile.

Sebastian releases Lizzy, reaching out trance-like for Ciel. He draws the young lord up for a hungry kiss.

The smaller demon turns his head so Sebastian is lapping at his smooth neck."Hush now. Later. Once I'm done here, we have… business… to attend to. But for now…" Ciel reaches forward and captures his lover's mouth with his.

"As for the human…"

Lizzy hunches behind a chair, unsure if she can run, terrified to try.

"Know this, human. The price you shall offer can never be returned. It is in your power to summon me, to make me serve you. If I bond with you, I shall do your bidding. Declare your purpose for calling me." Ciel's eyes fluttered half-closed, his breathing growing shallower.

"I… I wish to become a demon as well… to stay by your side after my lifespan has passed. I wish to stay eternally young, to stay with you." Lizzy's green eyes are veiled by nearly shut lids, by long black lashes. Her face is draped with her long hair as she bows her head before the monster.

"What price do you give me in return for this request?"

She exhales, not quite a sigh. "My mortal life. My mortal soul."

"Are you prepared to abandon the light of heaven for this request?"

"Heaven was never mine to have. It is nothing to me now."

Ciel reaches out a visibly shaking hand for her. "Then you have called me for a rebirth. This Contract shall be one between two equals, two demons. I declare a Contra… ahhh." His head drops onto his chest, blood dribbling from his lip onto the blue silk below.

Lizzy screams. "Dear god, he's dying! Sebastian, I order you to help!"

**Heh. Part two is coming up sometime. (love you guys~). **


	14. Chapter 14-- That Girl, Demon (Pt 2)

**Did I leave you in anticipation? Do you now hate me forever? Are you ready to burn little Alyx-dolls, and stick my voodoo doll with pins?**

**Yeah, that's what I thought. All the warnings and such that were in my last author's note are also in this one (if you didn't see that note, go read it. Seriously.)**

**Heh, did I mention that the last chapter was really fun?**

**Announcer voice: "Previously on 'Paramour'"—**

_Ciel reaches out a visibly shaking hand for her. "Then you have called me for a rebirth. This Contract shall be one between two equals, two demons. I declare a Contra… ahhh." His head drops onto his chest, blood dribbling from his lip onto the blue silk below._

_Lizzy screams. "Dear god, he's dying! Sebastian, I order you to help!"_

Sebastian grabs his lover's waist, drawing the man's limp body against his. "His energy just greatly decreased. He's struggling to complete the Contract, but he's not strong enough. He needs to feed, to… Lady Elizabeth! Call out to him, tell him you withdraw your wish! The Contract is killing him!"

She is shaking, horrified that her desire caused this. Her pupils shrink, almost disappearing in her frantic green irises.

_It took me so long to prepare to become a demon. To become one for him. And now I'm killing him._

_I'm such a fool. So worthless._

"Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Midford, if you wish your husband to live the night, _call his name!"_ the demon, swathed in black, snarls at her. His eyes, already burning in the dark room, seem to scorch her with their intensity.

Ciel, cradled in his lover's arms, moans. Dark, inky patches blossom on too-white skin as he trembles involuntarily. Sweat blossoms on his face as he grows terribly pale.

"Ciel… oh, god, Ciel! Please, don't die! I… I do not want the contract if it means your death!" She tries to rush to his side, but a glance from Sebastian turns her feet to lead.

"_Do. Not. Touch. Him_." The raven-haired devil rubs his cheek against Ciel's pallid one, whispering words Lizzy cannot understand. The sounds he murmurs into Ciel's ear remind Lizzy of fire crackling, of Latin classes long ago… things she cannot comprehend and yet cannot resist trying.

Ciel's mouth drifts open, his eyes wide as he tries to pull in air but cannot. His eyes briefly flicker to look into his lover's, then squeeze shut again.

_Sweet hell, he's drowning. _

"Sebastian! Do something!" she screams needlessly, as the demon in question is already pressing his mouth against Ciel's.

She berates herself, cursing her foolishness and cruelty as her husband lays dying on the ground.

_Look what you have done. Killed the one person in this world you ever truly loved better than yourself. All for your selfish desires. What a _fool_ you are! What would have happened to your child? Did you ever think of that?_

Finally, Ciel sputters a cough, then begins to gasp in air. "Go… god… Sebastian… what happened? Everything… was… too bright, to hot."

"She cannot be turned. I do not know whether she is protected by a higher Being, or whether her soul is too pure, but… she cannot become one of us."

Ciel weakly turns his head to look at his wife, staring at her gently. "I'm… sorry, Lizzy. But you're… too… there is something protecting you. I don't know what." Already his face is less pale, his breathing easier. He pushes himself up to sit on the floor.

Lizzy turns her head away, face twisting in anger. Her eyes fight the tears that want to slide down her cheeks. "It's because of him, isn't it. Everything you do is to be closer to him! Nothing I do can make you love me!" She draws a dagger out of her bodice and throws it at Sebastian in a fit of anger.

Her mother taught her to never use her dagger, her last resort, in anger. To save it until there was no other option.

_Her mother also taught her that a man should love and honor his wife, too, didn't she? _

Lizzy races out the door, down the stairs. She nearly catches her foot on the edge of the stable door, but steadies herself on the horse that watches her with liquid eyes.

"Come on, my lovely. Run, girl!" Throwing herself onto the horse's broad back, the pair bursts out of the stable. Air whips Lizzy's hair, her dress, her horse's tail. It carries her insane giggle behind her.

As she rides, the horse beneath her seeming an extension of her lean body, she can feel her cares slip away.

_I shall never be contained again! I will see Paris… Rome… the Americas!_

_I shall stow away on a fine ship, become a maid at a rich lady's mansion. Soon we will be best friends, and the two of us will have many adventures. We'll become… pirates! The two bravest female pirates to sail the stormy seas._

_When Ciel comes to meet me, I'll be wearing a fine dress of silks, covered in the pearls I've looted from the dead bodies of my enemies. He'll see me, all lovely and composed, with a fine sword by my side. He'll fall to his knees and declare his love…_

Then that tiny voice, the nay-sayer and harbinger of grief, mocked her.

_Oh, he'll declare his love… to Sebastian! Do you think you really mean all that to him?_

_Do you really think you mean _anything_ to him?_

Digging her bare heels into the horse's warm sides, Lizzy hunches into the wind that unexpectedly cuts to her soul.

_Heaven and hell, what a fool I was! Why did I ever consider myself more than the child? What kind of a mother sacrifices her child's future for her own? I'm a discredit to the Phantomhive name… to motherhood in general._

She can excuse her sudden tears as a result of the icy, sharp wind. Lizzy tucks her head into her chest, letting her long hair shield her face.

_It would be better for me to die than to live… what can make me happy now?_

_Ciel hates me. I can never cause his love. _

_The child I bear will be threatened by my own selfishness. _

She slumped down in the saddle, weak and useless. The horse's hooves thudded dully on the dirt road, barely a crunch from the fine mist of snow icing the grass.

She barely has time to register the streak of darkness behind her before she is lifted from her horse's back by two strong arms. She screams, strikes out at the trim body behind her. "Let me go! Ciel! Ciel! Let me go!"

The arms drop her and she plummets onto the snow. Sputtering, she sits. "Who are you?" She can barely make out the black outline against the barely lighter sky

The tall, thin outline strides forward and kneels before her.

She chokes on the fine ice inside her mouth.

Sebastian Michaelis kneels before her, holding one thin white glove out to help her rise.

Lizzy begins to shiver, thin body quaking in the razor-sharp wind. "Why… have you come?"

_He's going to kill me. _Somehow, the thought would not bother her if she didn't have the child to think of.

_That didn't stop you from trying to become a demon._

Sebatsian rises to his feet, towering over her. She leans away from him, hands curling around her swollen womb and eyes clenching shut in terrified anticipation.

"My Lady, here." Something long and warm drapes Lizzy's shoulders, breaking the wind.

Lizzy's eyes open a crack. Her fingers reach up and trace along a thick, woolen garment.

_His coat. Why would he give me his coat?_

She tries to shove it off with icy, stiff fingers. "I don't want anything from you. Take it off."

He chuckles but does not comply, instead drawing it tighter around her.

_Ciel must have ordered him to keep me safe._

"My Lady, where did you plan to go?" He picks her up, one arm under her knees, the other delicately holding her against his chest. He's pleasantly warm, and has a strange scent… cinnamon and dried roses. Similar to Ciel's, she decides, but not as sweet.

"I didn't care. I wanted to be free." She presses her face into his coat, hiding her tears.

_I can never be "free."_

_I can never leave, can never run. I can never remarry. Not only would it disgrace my name forever…_

_But how could I leave behind my heart?_

**Meh. Ending wasn't as good. I liked part one though…. **

**How many more chapters should I write? I'm kind of thinking the story's winding down… (It might last longer if you send me prompts. Such a subtle suggestion, no?) **


	15. Chapter 15-- That Girl, Hell

**You guys. YOU GUYS! I asked for prompts and you delivered. Magical, magical people. I love you people. I am not worthy of the love you pour onto me. Really, in the grand scheme of things, I'm a terrible writer. (DON'T LOOK AT ME, I AM TRASH.)**

**I am working on your prompts, never fear, but here's a little thing I had half-written. **

**And, happily, since so many people refused to let me wind down on this story… we're continuing for a while (did you guys know that I already have the last two chapters written?)**

A knock breaks into the mid-day silence. Lizzy blinkly wearily, looking up from her husband's desk. "Yes, who is it?" She rubs her fingers across bleary eyes.

"A group of women, my lady. They say they're from the church?" The maid blinks, eyes wide behind thick glasses.

Lizzy rises to her feet, bare on the carpet. "Allow me to dress, and then I'll receive them. Oh, Mey-Rin?"

The maid turns, anxiously wringing her hands. Her wide eyes blink rapidly. "I-is everything all right, Miss Lizzy?"

"Yes, no worries, Mey-Rin. I was just wondering, are the children asleep?" Lizzy tries to run a hand through tangled hair, but her fingers get ensnared in the blonde curls.

"Oh! Oh, yes, my lady. They went to sleep for their nap a few minutes ago, they did!" The maid bobs a quick curtsey, then turns to leave. Before she does, she catches the edge of the desk with her foot and tumbles to the floor.

Mey-Rin immediately pops back onto her feet, face flushing red. "Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry, Miss Lizzy! I'll… I'll go take the ladies into the parlor, I will!" She hurries out of the room, purple hair bobbing briskly.

Lizzy presses one hand to her mouth, suppressing her giggles (honestly, she shouldn't laugh at the poor thing). She gathers her papers, a few documents Ciel needed her signature on, and places them in the drawer. She sighs.

"All right, Lizzy, let's get you dressed. What will you wear today, my lady?" she deepens her voice a little, pretending Paula is still there to talk to her.

She feels a little foolish, still needing her childhood maid for comfort. When Paula first died, Lizzy was… traumatized, unable to function without the sweet spirit that had always cared for her. She couldn't hire anyone else, unable to feel secure with another.

Eventually, she decided not to bother with a personal maid. She could dress herself, arrange her own hair. She didn't truly _need_ a maid, she told Ciel.

What she didn't tell him was that she could never recapture the feeling her maid gave her, a feeling of security, of absolute devotion. She could never learn to truly trust another.

How could she? Had not the one she had trusted most brutally betrayed her?

Had not the "god" she thought loved her abandoned her to the devil and his mate?

"I believe I'll wear that lovely day dress Nina recently made me, the one with the blue lace inserts, and my blue lace gloves. Get them please, Paula." She smiles at the air next to her bed.

"Yes, my lady," she whispered in a deeper voice, then hurried to her wardrobe and withdrew the thin dress. Throwing off her thin Oriental bathing robe, she hurriedly pulled the dress over her head. It floated down, settling around her bosom. She tugged it down, adjusting it so it fit properly over her bust and hips. She quickly pulled the cord for the maid while sitting to pull on stockings and don light slippers.

Mey-Rin slid through the door, almost falling on her mistress, quickly straightening herself. "Yes, M'Lady?"

"Help me with my corset, please." Lizzy turned to face the opposite wall, holding up her corset so it settled properly against her little waist.

"Oh! Yes, Miss Lizzy."

Lizzy draws a breath in as the corset tightens familiarly, compressing her waist and creating a perfect figure.

"Thank you. Are the women comfortably settled?"

"Yes, my lady. They're having tea and scones at the minute."

"Tell them I will be down at any second." Lizzy runs her fingers through her hair, picking at the knots until they loosen, then plaits her hair into a thick, shining braid that's almost long enough for her to sit on. Finally, she tugs on small gloves, made of the same fine lace in her dress. The fingers of the gloves have been removed for practicality, if she even feels the need to put down her stitching and stab through an attacker's heart without removing her gloves.

She then flutters down the stairs, a demure smile pasted to her face, pretending once again to be the perfect wife of a perfect husband, united in a perfect marriage.

"Hello, everyone. So sorry I took so long coming down. I was surprised to have visitors!" she chirps cheerfully, struggling to feign a weightless heart.

"Elizabeth, _so_ good to see you!" One of the women, none of whom she knows except superficially, rises, coming close to embrace Lizzy like an old friend.

She smiles happily at the woman, then turns to the rest. "What brings about this happy visit?"

Two of the women, both wearing discreet chains adorned with crucifixes, glance at each other, smiles shattering on the marble ground. They then turn back to her, affixing fake grins onto pleasant plaster masks.

_Is there anyone who is as they are, who allows their feelings to show onto their faces?_

_Do we all hide behind masks?_

_Who is even true anymore?_

"We were just noticing that you haven't attended Mass as of recently, and were hoping that no one in your family is sick." The blonde woman, carefully styled and pinned to perfection, smiles, her expression cloyingly sweet.

Lizzy pushes up the corners of her mouth. With luck her expression resembles a smile instead of a grimace. "No, thankfully everyone here is perfectly healthy. We have been rather busy as of late, sadly, and have not had the opportunity to visit the parish. Hopefully that will be remedied soon, however."

Dark looks are traded by the team of women, and one of them hesitates. "Elizabeth…"

She raises one eyebrow slightly. "Is there a problem?"

One of the ladies places a frigid hand on Lizzy's arm, gently patting the gauzy muslin. "We have simply come because we worry about the state of your soul, my dear. We care for you and…"

Lizzy's eye flash, burning a poisonous green. "Oh, you care about the state of my soul, do you? How compassionate, aren't you all, coming here, slithering in to spread your venom. Trying to find the secrets of my house, trying to slander my husband's good name. Prying your way into matters that are not yours to know by any stretch of the imagination. If I wished for you to come here, if I needed assistance for my soul, do you not think I would have sought it?" Lizzy jerks her arm free from the vixen clutching her sleeve.

The women's eyes widen, and they turn and whisper with each other. Finally, the blonde woman murmurs, "Forgive us, your Grace. We simply wanted to help."

Lizzy thrusts back tendrils of her hair that have escaped her braid. Her pretty pink mouth puckers in anger. "I do not want, nor need, any assistance you might believe you can offer. In fact, the only thing you can do to oblige me is to leave this very moment. I believe you can find your way to the door." She glances irately across the gathering of females. "I have to attend my children."

The blonde woman calls after her as she storms away. "Oh! Yes, we've heard about your adopted daughter. Looks rather like your husband, doesn't she? In fact, if she didn't have that black hair and thinner face, I'd say she was an exact copy!"

Lizzy pauses in the doorway. She knows she shouldn't, she knows she mustn't. Only a fool would stoop to that level.

Her hiss of fury stops the women's whispers. "_You. Worm."_

She turns, her braid flying out behind her, striking the doorframe with a sharp _thwak_. "How _dare_ you insinuate such a depraved thing about my husband. How _dare _you call him anything but noble and upright. How _dare you _infer that you have knowledge into my own _private affair!_" She stalks up to the woman, who flinches back.

"If I was not a lady and a wife of a noble house, I swear to God Himself I'd run you through here and now."

The women don't move, don't blink, barely breathe.

"So unless you wish me to re-evaluate my gracious decision to spare your useless life, I'd ask you to leave." She stares unblinking into the blonde woman's eyes.

She does not wait for the women to file silently out the door, instead choosing to slam the door behind her as she strides up the stairs.

She keeps her composure until she's behind enough doors to mask her sobs.

_You have come to save my soul from hell?_

_I _live _in hell. This, surrounding me, is hell in all its abomination. This is the hell of my own choosing._

She swipes her hands across her cheeks, stifling her tears before they drip onto her dress. Twisting her hair off her neck, she slides to the floor, leaning her head back against the door of Ciel's office.

Cosette is crying for her, but she will not show her children tear-stained eyes.

The children, at least, will be unscarred by this sacrilegious household.

She pushes a fist against her lips until her mouth grows numb. They wanted to save her from hell, a place where people are cast against their choosing?

_The worst part of hell is not burning in fire for all eternity._

_The worst part is knowing you could never leave._

_Knowing you could never want to._

**Poor Lizzy. She's always crying.**

**EEYYY, who wants me to go back in time and see a bit of Ciel and Lizzy's relationship before Ciel was kidnapped? Any takers? Anyone at all?**

**And, because I don't say it enough, every single one of your reviews makes me tear up. You all are amazing people. (Come stalk me on Tumblr. The URL's in my profile. COME TALK TO ME AND LET ME LOVE YOU.)**


	16. Chapter 16-- That Girl, Desire

**The Reviewer. Oh, my god. You need to follow my tumblr (or let me know it's you if you are following me) so I can stalk you (just kidding… kind of). This chapter… wow, ok. I like the prompt.**

**Like, **_**really **_**like it.**

**Like, **_**really, really **_**like it. **

**Anyways, yeah. No warnings that I can think of for this **

"Lizzy! Oh, my dear, it's been too long!"

Lizzy turns, one hand held up to protect her eyes from the summer sun's glare. For a second, the world is blotted out by dark shadows as her eyes struggle to adjust.

Then she's tightly embraced by two slender arms, connected to a torso that continually bounces up and down. "Lizzy! Dear, dear Lizzy, how I've missed you!"

Lizzy laughs. "Who…?"

The person draws back, letting Lizzy see long braids of dark hair and small but overjoyed brown eyes. "Annaline! Goodness, how long has it been?"

"Far too long, for I have a surprise for you!" Annaline turns and smiles at someone who hasn't emerged from the shop behind the girls.

Lizzy turns and is stunned by a pair of black eyes, wide and shining with tiny golden flecks, set in light golden skin. Soft blonde hair, lighter than hers but darker than Cosette's, is finely cut and tied back into a proper queue.

Lizzy's eyes widen.

_Thaddeus. What are you doing here? _

_I never expected to see you again._

"Hello, Elizabeth. I'm extremely pleased to meet you… again." the man purrs in a low, velvety timbre. His eyes never leave hers as he slowly claims her hand and leans down for a soft kiss.

"Isn't he wonderful, Lizzy? Oh, I should introduce you. This is Elizabeth Phantomhive, wife of Earl Phantomhive. And, Lizzy dear… this is my husband. Thaddeus Oliver, although… have the two of you met before?"

Lizzy nods, looking down at her feet, sheathed in leather walking boots. "A long time ago…"

Thaddeus laughs. "As I recall, you almost cut my head off in that tournament."

Annaline smiles distantly, obviously lost in the conversation. "That's so nice! Oh, Lizzy… We've just returned from a lovely bridal tour, where we visited Paris and Rome. Lizzy, it was marvelous. I've never been happier." Annaline's eyes sparkle, love lighting a new shine.

_Strange that he married her. Annaline is sweet… but you once desired my hand, didn't you, Thaddeus?_

When Lizzy, smiling merrily, glances at Sir Oliver, his eyes are not drawn to his wife, as they should be.

When she look up, her dear friend's husband is watching her with lust in his eyes.

_So you have not forgotten._

Lizzy doesn't know where to look as Annaline persuades her to visit them for a weekend shortly. She tries to avoid Sir Oliver's gaze, and yet every time she looks his way, his eyes are searching for hers.

When Annaline excuses herself for a short trip to the lavatory, Sir Oliver brings his chair up close to Lizzy's.

Too close, even for familiar friends. Were she not wearing such extensive skirts, their knees might have bumped.

"Sorry about Anna. I know she can be a bore. But she means well, I suppose. And she brought about our meeting." He tries to take her hand, but Lizzy pulls it back against her chest.

"Please, Sir Oliver…"

"Call me Thaddeus, Lizzy. I am your friend's husband, should we not be familiar? Besides, Lizzy… you used to love my name."

She turns her head away from him, hoping beyond measure she'll disappear behind her curls and not have to face this blatant flirtation.

"Thaddeus… please, do not do this."

"Do you suddenly begin to find me… unattractive? I know I find you an angel on earth. Nothing could corrupt the beauty of your eyes, the fair skin of your hands…" he takes one of the hands in mention and presses his cheek against it. "So soft."

Lizzy swallows hard. "I do… find you attractive. But I am married, as are you, and this is illegal. I do not wish an affair such as this. There is nothing I can say that I have not already told you time and time again!"

Thaddeus touches her chin, the leather of his gloves creamy and soft. He tilts her face stare into his. "You say you do not… but you will. I know, Lizzy. A woman's heart is weak. And yours is prone to love when love is given."

Rising to her feet, she strikes his cheek with the back of her hand. The smack of skin on skin echoes crisply. "Do not presume to speak to me of a woman's heart. I believe I know _exactly _how strong my heart is, and believe me when I say many a man would weep to know the horrors I have lived."

Storming out of the shop, Lizzy races to her carriage as fast as propriety will allow. Her chest heaving, she slides into the vehicle.

_What in the name of all that's unholy will I do?_

The next day, she awakens to a frantic pounding on her door. "My lady! My lady, hurry!"

Lizzy throws off the covers, tosses on a light covering, and pounds to the door. "What is it, Mey-Rin? What's the trouble?"

"I… in… the garden! A strange man! With the children!"

Lizzy's face hardens angrily. "Stay inside. If you hear screams, come as quickly as you can." Stopping only at the fireplace to acquire her swords, she runs down the corridor and lets herself out the window.

Dropping down into the center of the garden, her bare feet land in sticky mud. She wrinkles her nose, but doesn't comment.

The screams of her children guide her to the center of the rose garden. "Cosette! Odette!"

Upon entering, she assesses the attacker.

Tall, a few inches shorter than Sebastian but taller than Ciel. Thin, but not skeletal, very muscular. Bronze-gold skin streaked with dirt.

_Thaddeus._

He glances back at her, dark eyes wide. Shaking his head, he gestures slowly toward the tall tree in the center of the garden.

In the tree's upper branches are the two girls, barely ten years old in appearance, screaming as if they're being brutally tortured.

Clawing at the tree's thick trunk is a large cat, smaller than their hunting dogs but snarling angrily at the girls. Its sand-colored coat dusty, it sunk sharp claws into the trunk and began to climb.

With a earsplitting scream, Lizzy launches herself at the animal, which turns on its attacker. Lizzy dances around the cat, swords a mere silver blur in the balmy air. She doesn't think, barely breathes, focusing only on her swift feet and flashing blades. At one point, she bounds over the great cat like a stag, drawing her left-hand sword across its back.

It lets loose a horrific shriek and swipes its claws across her chest. Her body goes limp and thuds against the ground.

Her eyes close, suddenly peaceful.

_It ends like this. No more pain, no more abandonment._

_I shall see Mother again._

A loud crack and the sudden silence following makes her open her eyes. An inch away from her face is a bloodstained pair of fangs. Blood gushes down the bullet hole in the animal's forehead, running into its open mouth. Its great, glassy eyes lock with Lizzy's as it dies.

Thaddeus, face twisted in fury, stalks up to the carcass, presses his gun's muzzle against the animal's skull, and squeezes the trigger. "How… _dare_… you _touch_ her." His eyes soften as they meet Lizzy's petrified ones.

He kneels, cradles her against him. Lizzy watches her daughters clamber down the tree, Odette simply extending two long black wings and soaring. She widens her eyes at them, mouthing "Find your fathers!"

Long ago, she gave up protesting that Sebastian was not their father. It brings up painful questions, forces awkward confessions. No, it's been better to allow the girls to assume they have two fathers.

Thaddeus cups her face, tenderly searching her for injuries. "Lizzy… Lizzy, are you all right? Are you seriously injured? Say something, darling!"

Shuddering from shock, Lizzy's great glassy eyes struggle to lock with his. "Thaddeus… you saved me. Good god, how I've missed you."

"I couldn't come back, not after what I did." Thaddeu's hands softly stroke her cheeks. Lizzy shivers, closing her eyes.

Without her eyes open, she can imagine the hands holding her are Ciel's.

"You did no wrong. Thaddeus, I lost a good friend when you left." Her pale lips part with a tiny sigh as he presses his face into the crook of her neck. In her mind, She desperately replaces him with Ciel, finally come to his senses and worshipping her.

"But that's the problem. I never saw you as a friend, my love, my life. You were always the girl I wanted as my wife, the light of my heart… Leaving killed me, but not as much as staying would have. Seeing you with another… it would have killed me, Lizzy. It _still _kills me. I have been dying in a world of shadows. But here you are, in my arms… and suddenly the sun is shining again. Suddenly the air is fresh and clean… my darling, my _goddess_."

With a sob, Lizzy's eyes force themselves open. "Oh! Oh, god, no!"

_What am I doing? _

_The same thing Ciel has done to me for the past… it feels like eternity, and yet it has only been 12 years. _

_How dare I! How dare I do exactly what has broken my own heart!_

_How dare I hurt another in such a way?_

_How could I do this? _

Thaddeus's eyes fall in dejection. "Why? Why can you not love me?"

_Oh, god. _Lizzy's heart snaps with those words. "Why? Because you don't know what you're asking for. If I gave you myself, you would only grow to hate yourself. Believe me, I know all too well."

Without warning, Thaddeus pulls her against his chest and glues his mouth to hers. Lizzy struggles against him, feeling only disgust.

With horror, she stops struggling. _Is this what it's like when Ciel kisses me?_

Low and quiet, a whisper freezes the pair. "What… in hell's name… are you doing?"

Lizzy breaks free from the unwanted embrace with a gasp. "Ciel! Please, it's not what it looks like!"

Her husband's sapphire eyes turn to her, and she is petrified with the unexplainable emotion therein.

_He… isn't angry? He's almost… happy? What…_

"You know, if you hadn't kissed my wife without her consent, I wouldn't have been angry. God knows I can't make her happy. But a gentleman…" Ciel strikes Thaddeus across the face with the butt of his whip, "_never_…" He strikes Thaddeus again, "takes advantage of a lady." He slaps Thaddeus one last time, then demands, "Do you understand?" The slender man raises the whip one last time.

Lizzy rushes forward, clutches Ciel's upraised arm. "No! No, Ciel, not again. I should have tried harder to stop him. It's… it's my fault."

Her husband turns to her, staring into her soul. "It is never your fault that you were attacked. Never." But he hesitates. "Do… do you love him, Lizzy? If you love him…"

She shakes her head, a sad smile curving her lips. A tiny, sharp laugh puffs out her lips.

"Never, Ciel. Never anyone but you."

**Like I said. Very, very good prompt. **

**Never fear, other prompters, I'm also working on the ones you guys sent! This one just caught my eye. (And seriously, I'm so excited. I got about 5 prompts. FIVE.)**


	17. Chapter 17-- That Girl, No More Tears

**Cyan Rubies, here's your prompted chapter (interesting prompt, btw. I've never really thought about this before… and Edward might be a bit OOC, because I never really liked him.)**

**Trigger warnings for incest. Honestly, I don't ship incest (no matter how cute the pairing is) because I feel it's wrong. This is a personal conviction. You might not share it. However, it's pretty clear that Edward has more than a brotherly love for Lizzy. (Wow, Lizzy and her lovers these days.)**

**The next chapter should be based off the prompt Nishikikouji sent me. I LOVE PROMPTS! (wow, I'm so immature. Epic fail.)**

Lizzy smiles at her brother. "Edward! I'm so glad you've come home. How long have you been away?"

She pulls back from him, studying his face. Gone is the half-grown boy who worshipped the ground she walked on. In his place is a bronze god, golden hair bleached pale by the sun and eyes brightened by joy.

Her brother kisses her cheek, soft gold beard tickling her chin, making her smile. "Eight years, Lizzy darling. It feels like forever. You still look the same, though." His soft smile touches her heart.

"Oh, the same little girl? I'm afraid it's true," she teases, playing with a curl that drifts over her collarbone. "But come into the house, brother. Oh, we have so much to talk about."

Edward turns to Ciel, his smile mostly disappearing. "Well, Earl? Shall we?"

Ciel nods. "Of course. Lizzy?" He holds out his arm for her, as is expected. She floats to his side, smiling contentedly at her brother. Taking his arm, she hangs onto it, most of her weight supported by her husband.

The little party journeys inside, where Sebastian has spread a lovely little tea. Edward laughs. "Well, you didn't have to make a big party for me, Lizzy darling!"

She hugs him, squeezing her arms around her brother's strong shoulders. "Anything for you, Edward. But sit, eat. I'll fetch the children and be right back."

Edward lifts her chin, familiar green eyes staring into hers. "Children? You have children?" His face breaks into a wide smile as he cups her face in his hands. "Good god, Lizzy! No one told me!"

She smiles back, somehow managing a real smile for his sake. "Two lovely girls. They've been waiting to see you upstairs in the nursery. They can't wait to meet their uncle." Rising to her feet, she turns to sweep across the room.

Edward clasps her wrist, his eyes soft and loving. "Hurry back, Lizzy. I've been gone from you too long."

Lizzy nods, a faint rose coloring her pallid cheeks. Gathering her violet skirts in one hand, she hurries up the grand staircase. "Girls, come and meet your uncle. Odette, no, sweetheart, put down the kitty. Remember, Father's allergic."

Odette, who's clutching the soft gray kitten against her pink-swathed torso, pouts. Her face draws chills down Lizzy's spine.

_So like Ciel. So beautiful, my dauthers._

"But it's so soft, Mother. Please? Look at it, so cute and mewling… It's eyes are so big. Please, Mother, may I keep it?"

Lizzy takes the little thing in her cupped hands, bringing the kitten close to her face. It's tiny body is so warm, fluffier than her own feather bed. As she uses one lace-gloved hand to tickle under its chin, the little cat begins purring.

Regretfully, she places the feline on the nursery's floor. "No, sweetheart. Keep it here tonight and tomorrow release it into the yard. Come on, girls. Don't you want to meet your uncle?"

Cosette grabs her sister's hand. "Come on, Dette! Let's race, Mother!"

Lizzy laughs as her children run down the hall. At eleven and (by all appearances) eight, they are old enough to be punished for acting so immaturely. But was Lizzy herself not once that free too?

What would be the point in breaking their strong spirits for society's sake? Society is nothing to her.

The girls burst into the room. Odette remembers her mother's instruction and ignores Sebastian, running to Ciel to kiss him. "Hello, Father! Hello, Uncle Edward." She ducks her chin, fine strands of black hair falling out of her braid into her eyes. She looks down at her tiny patent leather boot.

He smiles at her, kneeling to try to meet her eyes. When she finally looks up at him through her lashes, Edward jerks backwards in surprise.

_The child's eyes are bright scarlet._

Where has he seen such distinctive eyes before…? But the girl is obviously Ciel's child, simply a raven-haired version of a young Ciel.

So who…?

Cosette dances into the room, smiling shyly at her uncle. Her golden curls have been braided back and tied with a large lavender bow. She walks to Sebastian. "Hello, Papa," she giggles, reaching up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.

_Lizzy looked at the girls. "Now, darlings, Uncle Edward wouldn't like Father and Papa being in love. So you must pretend that Papa is simply a servant. Is that all right, my dears?"_

_Cosette was staring out the window. "Hmm? Oh, yes, Mother."_

_Odette shrugged as she held a live flame in her hands. "Yes, Mother. Can I burn down the toolshed now?"_

Ciel's eyes, panicked, dart to Sebastian's. He chuckles breathily. "Oh, Cosette. You really shouldn't treat servants so familiarly. Come and meet your uncle, darling." Large sapphire eyes glare pointedly at her.

The little princess pouts. "But I want to stay with Sebastian, Father! What's the matter, don't you love him anymore?"

Edward's eyes narrow. "Lo—"

Lizzy hurries into the room, panting heavily. "Oh! Oh, my, the stairs aren't good for me. Ciel, darling, come here please?" She smiles coquettishly at her husband, extending a white gloved hand.

He smiles at her, quickly catching onto her ploy. He rushes to her, takes her arm and seats her on the divan. "Darling, you shouldn't exert yourself. Especially not with…" Ciel struggles a moment, trying to find a reason she shouldn't struggle.

Edward, momentarily forgetting the debacle with Cosette, rises to his feet. "Lizzy? Is… is everything all right, my dear? Have you told…"

She smiles widely, cheeks pinking slightly.

_Oh, she has become _very _good at faking in the last few years._

"Yes, Edward. I am just weakened because…" She blushes to a richer shade of pink, hurriedly spinning a tale.

"Because I am going to have a baby, Edward. You'll have three little ones to play with soon. Of course, only two will be mine by birth… little Odette was an abandoned child, you see, and when I saw her, I had to take her in. Isn't she sweet?"

Odette, right on cue, spills the entire pot of tea onto the floor and stares at it glumly.

Lizzy quickly fills the heated air with babble, just as she used to, allowing the frivolous chatter to wile away the afternoon. Before she realizes it, velvet night is falling and the children, sleepy-eyed and yawning, are excusing themselves to bed.

Edward helps her rise, carefully supporting her back with one hand. "Take care, my dear. Don't stress yourself." He smiles gently at her, head tilting to the side softly.

She smiles back, then sighs. "I suppose it's time for me to retire also. Ciel?" Extending a hand to her husband, she sweeps out the room, the long bustle of her skirt making the most pleasant whispering noises behind her.

Her husband tries to leave her at the door, as he does every night. This time, however, Lizzy latches onto his coat's collar. "Stay with me!" she hisses. "What if Edward comes for some reason?"

Ciel frowns. "No, Lizzy. I… I can't. You know that."

She turns her head away from him.

_She had given up hoping he loved her long ago._

_Now, when he rejects her, she does not count it against him, against the demon who she thought lured him with sweet, sweet vice._

_She blames herself. For ever thinking she could make him love her._

_After all… how could Ciel be wrong?_

"But… at least stay until he's safely in bed. How would you like him to learn of Sebastian…?" she whispers.

_Don't you see, my husband, my darling? I'm not doing this for myself._

_I'm doing this for you._

"And… and Sebastian can stay with you tonight. In my room. If that's what you need. But do not… do not make love to him if you wish to avoid discovery." Her voice is shallow, broken china sparkling in harsh light.

He stares at her, eye wide. "Lizzy…"

"Call him, Ciel. I will dress myself." She turns into her room, quickly removing her fine silk dress and replacing it with a light night shift.

Quiet thumps and a breathy word are emitted. Then she hears, horror above horror, a strangled moan. "Sebastian… we shouldn't… Edward…"

When she re-enters her bedchamber, Ciel is pinned under Sebastian. Two sets of eyes burn as the smaller man smirks at his lover. "Well?"

Sebastian dips his head, attacks his lover's mouth. "I had to watch you all day… cheeks flushed from the heat, eyes shining in the light… and all I could think was how similar you look when you're riding me… how your cheeks blaze and your soft little mouth opens to moan my name…" the demon shudders and rips off his lover's pants, claiming Ciel's mouth.

Lizzy hisses a warning. "Stop, I hear…"

The door swings open ad Edward walks in. "Lizzy, forgive me, I…" His eyes shoot to the men entangled on the bed.

"Good… God…" he breathes.

"No! Edward, get out!" Lizzy runs to him, covers his eyes with her hands. She glares at the amorous couple on the bed, begging them to separate.

_Thank god they hadn't taken demonic form yet._

Edward rips her hands from his eyes, staring at the men who hurriedly clothe themselves. Sebastian stands next to the bed, scarlet eyes ablaze. He places an ivory hand on Ciel's bare shoulder.

"Lizzy, what in hell are they doing?" Edward sounds deadly, and suddenly Lizzy's afraid he will do something drastic. "This is a sin. This is disgusting. Do you have anything to say for yourself, Earl?" His voice raises to a shout.

"No wonder the child called Sebastian her father. This house is filled with sodomy. You, Earl, sleeping with that whore. Mother was right, no good could come from such a… Good God, poor Lizzy, having to live with such unfaithfulness…"

Ciel shoots to his feet. "At least I'm not in love with a sibling, as you are, you swine! How dare you insult my Sebastian!" He lurches forward, Sebastian barely seizing him in time to stop a fight. Sebastian holds him fast as Ciel spits curses.

Lizzy takes her brother's hand. "Stop, Edward! It's not what you think! I…"

Her eyes turn downward, filling with tears. "It's my fault. I tried to make Ciel love me. He and Sebastian… they truly love each other, Edward! Such a pure, noble love, unlike anything I've seen since Mother died. It doesn't matter that they're both men, doesn't matter that Ciel is an earl and Sebastian is not. They should be free… to love."

Her brother turns to her, brows puckered in confusion. "How can you _say that_, Lizzy? Ciel was yours, before Sebastian _lured_ him away."

She shakes her head slowly. "No, Edward. He never was."

Edward turns to Ciel, eyes downcast. "Earl Phantomhive… you're right. I am in love with my sister. She is all that is… is good, and holy. And yes, it is a hideous thing for a man to love his kin. But you know what?"

He rises, face twisted in anger. "At least I care for her! You've ruined her mind with your depravity. Look at her, half-mad with abandonment! She's dying because of you, you bastard!"

Lizzy collapses into a chair, sobbing. "Edward, no! Stop. Don't… don't…"

"Lizzy? What…?" Ciel's eyes turn to her, Sebastian's face adopting an expression of worry.

"I didn't want to tell you, Ciel. But… You know I've been weak and unable to work much. When… when I went into town, one of the ladies insisted I see a doctor. I… apparently, I'm sick. Ciel… I'm going to die." A tiny, sad smile, but no tears, not any more. All her tears are dried. She has to be strong for him.

Ciel gasps, swallowing hard. "What… how?"

"The doctor couldn't say. But he said… it was like something was eating into me from the inside. The disease is like nothing he's ever seen before. Eventually, the small fevers will get worse and worse until it kills me. I wrote Edward about it, because I didn't want to bother you."

'Edward… dear Edward. Don't blame Ciel for this. He is not to blame. I am. If you care for me, you will tell no one of the things you've seen here. Your story might upset the townspeople, and who knows what they might do? They might end up _killing me_, brother. Killing me."

He takes her face in his hands, carefully stroking her forehead to cool her flushed face. "What do you want me to do, Lizzy? I'll do anything for you."

She closes her eyes. "Edward… leave. Go back to America. Never, ever, _ever_… return."

He chokes out a sob, but says nothing. Glaring at Ciel, he nods slowly. As he walks to the door, his shoulders are bowed, as if great weight presses him from above.

Before he leaves, he turns and looks back. "Lizzy… may I have a favor?"

She nods. "Anything, Edward."

Edward cups her face again, stroking her pale neck. He leans over and presses a soft, genteel kiss to her pink lips. Slowly, he kisses along her jaw, down to her neck.

She gasps. "Why?"

His eyes drip tears she cannot shed. "Because, my doll, that is how you should be treated. That's what I wanted to give you. I will always love you, Elizabeth Phantomhive. But you're not mine to love."

Then, without a good-bye, without a backward glance, he leaves.

She is glad her brother did not look back. If he had… she wouldn't have been able to let him go.

A week later, Lizzy receives a telegram.

_We regret to inform you passenger boat _Wellwisher_ lost at sea. Stop. Edward Midford perished at 11:46 P.M. Stop. The body will be returned to you posthaste. Stop._

**Well. Yup. Because I haven't put a disclaimer for a VERY long time:**

**LOL. I'm not even close to Yana-san's level. If I tried to make Kuroshitsuji, it would suck. I am a sucky writer, lol.**

**I have no clue what I'm even going to write once this story's finished. Seriously. (Well, not true. I'm working on my Hunger Games fanfiction, and I have another Kuroshitsuji idea… maybe more Lizzy fics (because I enjoy Lizzy.)**


	18. Chapter 18, That Girl, Everlasting

**Nishikikouji, your prompted chapter is complete and edited! I went back, added some stuff, changed some stuff, slapped myself across the face over some stuff… I hate editing.**

**Did you realize Lizzy's birthday is the first day of the new year? That's soo cool. I want a cool birthday like that! Ok, I'll shut up now. (You probably get sick of me talking in authors notes. Just tell me to shut up, seriously. Leave a review.)**

Turning to lean against the door, the wife of Earl Phantomhive lets out an exhausted sigh. "Sweet hell, today was torture," she whispers to no one in particular. She walks to her vanity, removing her diamond earrings.

"I'm sorry, love." A girl's voice whispers in the nearly-empty room.

Lizzy whirls, drawing her sword from beside her dresser. "Who's there?" Her skirts swish around her, soft little whispers of silk announcing her movement.

She spies a girl near the closed window. The girl, a slender thing around Lizzy's height, nods toward her politely. "Forgive me if I scared you, love. I never mean to scare a charge." She sits in the chair beside Lizzy's bed, carefully pulling her long braid over her shoulder so she doesn't accidentally sit on the long plait.

Lizzy points her sword toward the girl's throat. "Who are you, and what are you doing in my bedchamber?" She glances around, searching the room.

_Sweet hell, I didn't even hear her come in! I simply turned from my vanity's mirror and there she was, behind me._

The girl holds up her hands. "You know me, Lizzy. Remember the child who always seemed to be there to help you when things went wrong? I believe you called me Alyssa. And I'm going to help you again, love."

Lizzy raises her eyebrows, studying the strange girl. Along with her peculiarly long tresses, the girl is wearing a thin nightshift dyed blood red.

_Alyssa… yes, I remember her. She was my imaginary friend._

_Or, as it seems, my not-so-imaginary friend._

"How are you going to help me?" the blonde woman asks cautiously. "What are you, and… what are you _wearing_?"

The girl looks down at her clothing, surprised. "This thing? Sadly, it's required wear. Red isn't really my color, you know. Yours is lovely. It's been years since I wore a nice silk dress like yours…" She glances longingly at Lizzy's dinner dress. "But I digress. How are Odette and Cosette? Still rambunctious toddlers? I haven't really been watching them recently."

Lizzy frowns. "How do you know my children…?"

"I'm a _fylgja_. You… probably haven't heard of us," the girl shrugs on seeing Lizzy's lost expression. "I'm supposed to protect you. I'm rather surprised you haven't noticed me before, when I accidentally revealed myself. Spot of bad luck, that."

Lizzy presses a hand to her mouth, backing away from the _fylgja_. The spirit is staring at Lizzy seriously. "A guardian angel who can't reveal herself. If that's true… why did you just now appear to me?"

The _fylgja _sighs, fidgeting with the end of her braid. "Lizzy… you just discovered your illness, correct?"

Lizzy's eyes drop to stare at the carpet. "…Yes. That's true. Supposedly, I'm dying, but you already know that. You… are you able to heal me, Alyssa?"

The _fylgja _nods slowly, strands of brown hair falling across her shoulders. "Of a sort… You also realize that it didn't just appear, don't you? It's been building for a long time, my dear."

Lizzy, paler than she used to be, grips the chair beside her bed for support. "Yes. the illness is the reason Ciel could not turn me, isn't it?"

The girl chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of her head. "Well… not quite. That… might have been me. I really shouldn't talk about that though. Lizzy, what's killing you… it's the "croí dúbailte", or, as it's called in English, the 'two-heart' sickness. I've seen it so many times in humans. Good God, of all the charges I've ever had, it had to be you who was affected… You were such a sweet little darling. I loved your childhood." The fylgja blinks back tears in blue-grey eyes. Her face seems to age, to show years beyond imagination in its solemn wisdom.

"What that means, love… You want to be free. You want to be a pirate, a princess, to wear trousers and short skirts without fear of judgment. You would give nearly anything to have your freedom."

Lizzy sighs deeply, curling a lock of her hair around her forefinger absently. She nods. "That's true, Alyssa."

The girl sighs. "But you also want to stay with Ciel, don't you? Because, no matter how he treats you, even if ne tried to kill you, you'd forever love him. Because, as much as it hurts… he's your soulmate."

Lizzy's eyes widen, locking with blue-grey ones. "We're… soulmates?"

"No, Lizzy. He's your soulmate. But you aren't his. Sebastian is for Ciel, and Ciel is for Sebastian. And that kills you, Lizzy. Because no matter what, you're with the one you love… and he cannot be yours."

Lizzy, clenching her fists in sudden anger, chokes out a sob. "Do you think I don't know that? Do you think I haven't come to terms with my misery? If you have simply come to explain to me exactly how deplorable my state is, then I suggest you leave."

Alyssa backs away, holding ungloved hands up defensively. "Lizzy, no! I would never do that to you. I would never be so cruel to you, love. I have come to offer you something. A gift. A gift so rare it's never been given before."

She walks to kneel in front of her charge, laying a hand on Lizzy's sleek red skirts. She pets the woman for a moment."Lizzy… if you wish, I will make you one of us. You can guard your children, watch them for all eternity. You can stay with Odette forever. You can watch Ciel… and maybe learn to love another. _Fylgja_ have no soulmates, no fates. You can love who you wish. We're barely corporal. Unbound by any restraints." The black-haired spirit tips Lizzy's pale face to look into hers, traces the girl's full pink lips with a wandering fingertip.

Lizzy closes her eyes, savoring the spirit-girl's touch, so intimate. It's been years since she has been touched like this… sometimes she longs for even a gentle embrace from a lover, yet she can never bear touching her husband, only to be scorned once again. "I can… become one of you?"

"If you wish… you can even become one _with _me. I will admit, seeing the woman you have become, I have felt more than a platonic love for you." Alyssa traces the girl's face, but does not press a kiss against her lips.

_Immortality… a future with Ciel, forever…_

_How similar this is to my opportunity to become a demon! When I almost…_

_When I almost… lost Cosette… Sacrificed her for my own selfish gains…_

"What of Cosette? She is human." Lizzy opens her eyes, looking into the spirit-girl's glowing ones.

"You could watch her, even speak to her if you wish. We can be corporal, as you can tell. It wouldn't prohibit your relationship with her."

"But… she would die. Can she become one, a_ fylgja_ , also? I need my child." Lizzy frowns at Alyssa's hesitant expression.

"Lizzy… it was hard enough getting permission to turn you. The child? Impossible. She is nowhere close to your holiness. Please, accept this gift and be content. Maybe Cosette could become a demon. They're baser than we, but still she would be immortal. Plus, she would have less responsibility. But I can't turn both of you."

Lizzy's face falls, her eyes dulling with disappointment. Then she sets her jaw.

_I promised I would never abandon my responsibility again. My life is not my own._

_I must protect my child._

"Not have my child? Give her up… for my own purposes? What kind of mother would that make me?"

Alyssa falls back in disappointment. She shakes her head, running her hand through her hair frustratedly. "Lizzy, please. This is the only chance I can give you to be with him! This is my only chance to save you…"

Lizzy looks up at the spirit. Her face is resolute. "And what future would that be? Lurking in the shadows, hoping beyond hope that today is the day he'll look at me kindly? How is that different from my life now? At least when I die, I'll burn alone without my misery." She turns away, shoulders tightening. "Please. Leave, now. Before I break down and change my mind."

The spirit-girl closes her eyes. A single tears traces its shining path down her cheek. "Elizabeth Phantomhive, you are the strongest person I have ever known. By heaven and hell, if there is a person alive who deserves paradise, it's you."

Lizzy bites into her lip until she tastes the brine of her blood. She can feel a chill when the spirit leaves. Her eyes prickle with the needles of unshed tears.

_No, Lizzy! No more tears!_

"I am not strong, Alyssa. I am weak. I am weak."

**Ok. Yuss. This is better, isn't it? But no more self-insert, sadly. Alyssa's sooo pretty. Hnnnng, that braid….**


	19. Chapter 19-- Cosette, Tea Party

**I believe I heard someone calling for a Ciel, Sebastian, and Odette chapter? Welll… would you mind a Ciel, Sebastian, Cosette chapter? Because, even though Cosette is technically Lizzy's child, Sebastian loves her (in his own way. Don't you dare tell me demons can't love.)**

**Buuuut, to be fair, I probably will also write one with the fathers and Odette. Don't worry, I know you asked for it. **

**Cosette's probably eight. Maybe seven. Just thought you might like to know. Hints of sexual themes (from a child's point of view. Cosette's so totally clueless, precious baby.)**

**Oh, I edited the last chapter, too. Go re-read that. It'll improve your view of me as a writer.**

Ciel bent down to look his little daughter in the eyes. "Cosette…" he began warningly. "What are you doing?"

She lifted a miniature tea kettle, fine china painted with little roses, and smiling charmingly. "Father, I've been making tea for Dette, but mother says I can't come into the nursery. I want to play with _seomone_." Her wide blue eyes sparkled mischeviously, letting her father know exactly who that 'someone' was.

"Zette, darling, I'm very busy today. You know how it gets at Funtom, and I have her Majesty's request to think of."

"Plus, you're busy kissing Papa 'Bas."

Ciel coughed a bit, his cheeks flaring pink as he thought of _exactly what _he did with Sebastian. "Yes. That too. So, I don't really have much time, my sweet."

She looked up at him, cheeks flaring defiantly. "But Mama's sick too, and so I'm all aloooooone… and no-one caaaaaaares… and I'm… I'm… I'm gonna cryyyy!" her little face scrunched up in a perfectly practiced pout.

Ciel sighed, glancing up at Sebastian. The clever old devil was hiding a smile behind white cotton gloves. "Well… perhaps I have a spare hour. If that tea's Earl Gray."

Immediately all signs of tears disappeared from the toddler's face. She grinned happily. "Yup! Wait here for a minute." Cosette scampered off, the hem of her dress flittering about her ankles as she hurried inside the house.

Ciel sighed, running his hand down his face. "Why do I feel I've been taken in by a criminal mastermind?"

Sebastian chuckled softly, rubbing his master's thin shoulders in a soothing manner. "Because she's every inch a Phantomhive. What would you expect, kitten?"

The Earl rolled his eyes, but his mouth curled a bit at the affectionate nickname. "What torture device do you think she's fetching?"

"I'm afraid to answer that." Sebastian smiled down at Ciel, who snickered good-naturedly and captured his lover's mouth in a kiss.

"O-kay," Cosette announced as she rounds the corner of the rose garden (she's learned that it's best to let Papa and Father know you're there before you see odd things… why do adults take their clothes off in the garden? Clothes are supposed to stay on, sillies!). She pluncked a pink… _mass_… onto the table.

Ciel choked at the sight of it. "Damn it…! Er… Cosette, what is this?"

"A corset. Father, I need a mama and a daddy. Because we're gonna have a tea ball. I'm the princess, Papa 'Bas is the father, and you're the mama. And we're gonna get dressed up. I found this pretty dress in the closet, it's all pink and frilly. So Papa will dress you, and we'll have a party. Ok?" Before she can hear any complaints, the little tyrant skips into the house to dress for the party.

The Earl's eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open in shock. Slowly, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. He turned to the demon, who looked innocent.

Too innocent.

"You put it where she'd find it." His whisper wasn't a question.

Sebastian picked up the pink corset, fitted it against his master's clothed chest. "Hmm… it still fits. Shall we travel inside, my lord?"

"_Why the _BLOODY HELL _did you let her find that_?" Ciel yelped.

"Why, young master, how could I have been sure Miss Cosette would have searched that closet? I'm not all-knowing, as you so enjoy to remind me."

Ciel grumbled.

"Besides… the look on your face when I lace the corset is quite arousing, kitten, with flushed cheeks and wide eyes, and…"

"_Sebastian_!"

The couple eventually made their way inside the manor, although Cosette (who _might_ have been spying on them) noticed that her father's cheeks were flared brighter than roses, and her papa's neck sported two very noticeable bruises.

A few minutes later, Lizzy awakes from a fevered sleep. She glances down at her sick little one.

_What woke me?_

She blearily stretches and sits up. Glancing around, she takes in her surroundings.

_My bedroom… my sick daughter next to me…_

Then, she hears a scream. Ciel's scream, followed by Sebastian's shout.

Somewhere in the manor, the Earl screams Sebastian's name, filling the west side of the manor with his half-aroused, half- agonized moans.

Lizzy, weakened from fever, promptly covers her daughter's ears and goes to sleep.

_Ah. As long as it's nothing out of the ordinary._

After changing into her best dress, Cosette walks out into the garden. The tea is, luckily, still warm. She glances at the plate of biscuits.

_Hmm… I don't know whether those are fresh. Perhaps it would be best to sample one and test it._

She selects a chocolate biscuit and bites into it. The creamy filling in the center sends little shivers up her spine from the intense flavor.

_Papa 'Bas must've made these. His are always best. But maybe the cherry biscuits aren't as fresh. I ought to try those as well._

She reaches for one of the sticky, red biscuits, but the sight of the pathway makes her gasp.

Coming down the path is a lovely lady in a pink dress. The fine overskirt is drawn up to reveal layer upon layer of floating white petticoats. The lady's small bust is shown to an advantage by the ruffled neckline, bedecked by a solitary rose. The woman's hair streams down her back, a shining river nearly falling to her waist. She takes her husband's hand, needing support as she wobbles in high-heeled slippers.

Cosette claps both hands over her mouth.

_She's… so beautiful, even though she's not wearing a hat. Mother would be scandalized, but I think a hat would be too much. _

_I want to look like her when I grow up._

Then the lady catches Cosette's eyes. The one visible eye, brighter than a sapphire, makes Cosette's tiny pink mouth drop open.

_It's… Father?_

Her father's cheeks are brushed a light pink, his lips coated in lightly tinted gloss. If she didn't know he was a man, she'd have called him prettier than her mother.

"Father… you're so pretty. You should wear dresses all the time." Cosette breathes reverently.

Sebastian's chuckle confuses her, as does her father's expression. What was so funny about her statement?

"Well, Lady Cosette," her father warbles in a high, feminine voice, "may I have a cup of tea?"

Cosette nods quickly, elegantly pouring the beautiful lady a glass of tea. She drops in two cubes of sugar and a small splash of cream before handing it to her father.

Her father glances at her papa from the corner of blue eyes, shyly lowering his lashes. Papa 'Bas snakes a hand down and strokes Father's thigh when he thinks she can't see.

Cosette smiles. Her fathers, obviously in love. Her mother, sleeping softly up above, probably smiling in her dreams. Her sister, cute and small, curling her fingers around the blankets.

_I got the best family in the world._

**I love Cosette. I really do. I love Odette too, though (don't make me choose between my babies! No, don't!)**

**I managed to write a chapter with NO angst! Aren't you proud of me? Don't I get a gold star?**

**I'll make up for it next chapter. Just you wait, 'Enry 'Iggens. Just. You. Wait. ~goes out singing songs from My Fair Lady~**


	20. Chapter 20-- That Girl, Blood

**Twenty chapters. Twenty. Chapters.**

**I figured this thing would be around five. Wow. (Although I'm working toward the end here.)**

**Everyone ready to get back on the angst train? Safety belts buckled? Crash jackets fastened? Seats back in an upright position? **

**I think, once the story's pretty much done, I might put in a couple of happy, light, non-angsty chapters to prove that, YES, I CAN WRITE SOMETHING OTHER THAN ANGST. (You should see the Little Red Riding Hood themed Kuroshitsuji fic I'm doing. And it's romance/adventure. So ha.)**

**Oh. This has blood consumption. Demonic blood has magical powers, and right now Lizzy needs magic.**

Lizzy shudders as she hunches in her bedroom, her hands pressed against her throat. She winds her fingers in the chain suspending her crucifix over her heart.

Oh, wouldn't her mother be pleased to learn her daughter is again wearing the symbol of her faith, even though it's simply a last, desperate measure. At this point, she would sacrifice herself to the devil to keep away the pain.

_Oh, wait. She has._

_And the pain is still here._

As another shimmering wave of pain twist her body, she lets out a strangled moan. Her throat is swollen, scraped red from screaming for relief, for help, for death. Her nails scrape against the wooden door, splinters lodging themselves under her faded fingernails as she whines high in her throat.

Her lips parts, her mouth so dry blood drips into her mouth, filling her tongue with its putrid taste. "Cie…"

_No! No, do not call him. _She presses a fist against her mouth, sliding a knuckle in between her lips to bite into it.

_No need to worry him. _

She drags herself to her nightstand, scrabbling at the lock with all the strength she can scrape from her limbs. Finally, she opens it, removing a dark vial from the drawer.

She opens the top and tips her husband's blood down her throat. Almost immediately her throat grows cold, ice seeming to blossom down into her stomach. She draws in a steadying breath, eyes closing as she heaves in sweet air.

_Make it through today, Lizzy. Just one more day._

Cradling her body in her emancipated arms, she watches the sun rise, spread fragile light across her face. She cannot even tell if the light is warm any more, cannot feel its golden glow fill her spirit.

She smiles to herself, gently, licks the last rich traces of blood from her lips.

_Happy birthday, Lizzy._

_Tonight, you are going to die._

The next few hours are lost as she stares into the pale light as it traces warm fingers across her face. For all the money in London, she could not say what she does, whether cool tears lick her cheeks, whether she begs for her husband, her almost-grown daughters, her mother.

When the door whispers against the cold floor, announcing her husband, she closes her eyes, feigning sleep. She allows her eyes to close, her delicate lashes to brush her cheek.

"My love?" His hand on her arm sends a thrill through her. She rolls onto her back, smiling up at him. His eyes take her in.

She can see from his peaceful face he has no inkling of what occurred last night, as she screamed into her pillow, as she fought to keep herself from simply ending her misery by casting herself from the window.

"Happy birthday, darling. Come, I've prepared your breakfast." He sets her frame against the cloud-soft pillows, drawing her blankets against her skeletal hips. Then he places a breakfast tray in front of her.

It's exactly what she would want if she were still well: hot chocolate, sweet with fresh mint, scones drizzled with a fine mist of chocolate, and cuts of fresh meats, fried to perfection.

_Darling, I cannot eat this. How can you have not seen, these past few weeks?_

_I survive on you. On your shy glances, your honey-sweet smiles, your hands stroking my hair. I survive on your blood… your soul._

Since discovering her lover's blood heals her, albeit temporarily, she has eaten little else, growing nauseous at the sight of foods she once delighted in.

She smiles prettily at him. "Oh, darling, thank you!" Slowly, she lifts a loaded fork to her mouth.

Every bite, every swallow is a testament of her love to him. When he leaves with the empty tray, she hangs her head, throat tight. Holding her handkerchief close to her mouth, she coughs, then gags, struggling to keep the food inside herself.

A spray of blood stains the white cloth.

Her husband returns to dress her, sliding her nearly-useless limbs through a fine dress, arranging her hair with dexterous fingers. Usually he would allow a servant to do these menial tasks. He must be doing it to treat her for her birthday, she surmises.

Every breath fills her lungs with his warm scent: roses wet with vengeful tears, chocolate laced with cinnamon, the warm musk of love, and the powdery smell of brittle porcelain.

She could live for a hundred years on his scent and never be deprived.

"Do you know what we're doing today, Lizzy?" he asks quietly, lacing her left boot carefully. "I plan to take you out for a picnic, near that little stream you love, since it's your birthday. Of course, since it's winter we're going to stay in the inn, but it has a parlor with a clear view of the river. Annaline promised to take the girls to a gathering, so we have the whole day together. Just you and I… Well, and Sebastian."

Her eyes smile down at him.

_All this for her. All this. It doesn't matter that _he _is coming, too. Ciel is doing this… for her. Her alone._

The thought does not leave her head as the carriage rumbles down the road, as Sebastian lifts her frame (when _did _she become so thin? She cannot remember, the world is made of fog and unshed tears), as he lays her out on a thick blanket. Ciel crouches beside her, pouring her a cup of tea. He begins to put the glass to her lips when Sebastian stops him with a hand on his back.

"My lord… I believe the innkeeper wishes to have a word with you. I can assist Lady Elizabeth." Ciel frowns but strides into the next room.

As soon as his lover exits the room, Sebastian removes a vial from his jacket's breast pocket and pours the contents into Lizzy's glass.

Underneath the tea, Lizzy detects Ciel's dark, rich scent. She stares at the butler. _How does he know…? To be drinking blood is a great crime, but…_

Sebatsian smiles down at her sadly, eyes dull. He holds the glass to her lips, allows her to sip. "It's all right, my lady. I understand. His blood is very strong, very rich. It makes you well, does it not?"

She nods slowly, coughs. "I… yes." Her voice is thick with underuse. She turns her head from him. Looking at him hurts her.

She is no longer angry at him. What good is that? He did not force Ciel's love. He could not force it.

She is jealous.

"Sebastian… He loves you a great deal, does he not?" Her voice quickly becomes light. She might very well be asking him to pour her another glass of tea.

Sebastian tilts his head. "I suppose, my lady." His eyes tell a different story, the red warming with adoration at even the mention of his "young master".

"He would like nothing better than to be with you, with no distractions. I do not mean he does not love the children, or myself. But he… he could live without us. But not without you."

Sebastian inclines his head, watching her suspiciously. "That… is true."

She smiles, unsure whether she is content or terrified at the news.

_I love you, Ciel._

_I want to give you everything you desire._

…**.Yeah. I'm guessing you're absolutely confused as to what happened right there. You might be asking questions such as "what the heck? When did she get so sick?" **

**I'll answer them next chapter. Promise.**

**(I might try this theme again, set before the babies were born… or maybe right after they were. Go back to the happy, Lizzy-isn't-dying-of-heart-brokenness times of yore. But I managed to fit both of The Reviewer's prompts in here. Victory, thy name is Phantomhive [inside joke].)**


	21. Chapter 21-- That Girl, Feud

**Ok. Wow. Last chapter was kind of dark (mental note to self: do not write when inhaling paint fumes.) But, like I said, I'll answer your questions.**

**Hopefully.**

**Let's hope I don't breathe in any more paint. ~sheepish laugh~**

Cosette scowls at her mother. Her face has obtained unusual beauty the last year… almost too much beauty. She is rather famed for it, and Lizzy fears the fame has gone to the girl's head. "I can't believe you said that, Mother! How can you be so cruel?"

Lizzy sighs, slowly reclining in her seat, her aching back supported by the wooden frame. The illness is slowly claiming her body, but as long as she has the will to live, she will refuse to let it take over her. "Darling, I wouldn't say it just to be cruel. You know it's true. Ciel… Your father is not in love with me."

The younger girl, eyes narrow and cheeks angrily pale, shouts, "That's because he loves my papa! He's a good man, how dare you slander his name!"

Lizzy grabs the girl's arm, pulls her down so their faces are almost equal. "I am your mother, child," she hisses. "If I say something about your father to you in private, I do not expect or desire you to broadcast the news across the entire countryside, is that very clear?"

Cosette wrenches free from her mother's grasp. "No wonder he doesn't love you. You're a malicious, spiteful woman who enjoys seeing others suffer! I wish you'd never been born!" She turns with a flip of waist length curls and strides from the room, her skirt snapping angrily about her ankles. The door slams behind her as she leaves.

Lizzy watches her stomp out with horrified, wide eyes.

_She asked why I was so unhappy, and all I did was tell her the truth. Why is she so unhappy?_

_She grows more headstrong every day, that girl._

Ciel bursts into the room, hair mussed and mouth panting. He quickly takes in his pale wife, stretched out on a hard chair with a pained expression. "Darling, what's the matter? Where's Cosette? Hell, I just returned from the case, and Her Majesty is sending me away again… but ever mind that. What's the problem."

Lizzy shakes her head sadly. "Cosette grew angry at me, shouted at me, so I rebuked her. She left in a fury. I should speak to her about her temper."

Ciel wrapped his arms around her shoulders, carefully supporting her as her helped her stand. "It's mostly my fault. I spoiled her, let her have too much freedom. But as long as she's not violent… Why did she grow angry at you, Lizzy?"

The blonde woman, pale and skeletal, glances at the ground as one hand plucks absently at the folds of her dress. "She… she noticed the other couples in London, how they were all one man, one woman. When she returned, she asked me why you and Sebastian are married, and not you and I. I explained the situation, how you and I are married, but you love Sebastian. I believe she thought I was angry at you, and began to defend you, shouting at me. Eventually, she told me the reason you must not love me is because I'm a spiteful woman, and she stormed out of the room."

Ciel's eyes sharpen in anger. "How dare she? How _dare_ she?" He flings the door open and yells, "Cosette Heaven Phantomnhive! Come here this instant!"

The maiden instantly appears, her hands clenched in anger. "What did she tell you?" her tone is dark as she refuses to look at Lizzy.

Ciel paces in front of her for a moment, then whispers, "If… you ever… say such a thing to your mother again… I will have you sent to a boarding school. I refuse to hear such _outrageous _accusations against Elizabeth. How dare you say I don't love her, girl?" He suddenly clenches her upper arms.

Cosette's eyes grow wide in shock. "Sent away? Why? I've done nothing wrong. It's obvious you don't love her like Sebastian."

Ciel stares at her, his eyes hard, dark. "There are different types of love, child. I would never marry a woman I hated. Your mother is all grace and virtue. Every word you have said here has slandered her, and I will not stand for it, do you hear? Apologize. Right now, Cosette." He takes a seat beside his wide-eyed, surprised wife.

The blonde girl crosses her arms. "I'm fourteen. You can't force me to do that."

Ciel simply needs to rise, eyes flaring a furious crimson before the girl stutters out, "s… sorry. I suppose. You can make me apologize, but I will not forgive you. You should just leave, mother. He won't ever love you, and you'll get in the way."

The girl gathers her long skirts in her hands, casting her mother one last furious look before she floats indignantly away. Her petticoats send hisses down the hallway as she practically runs away from her parents.

"Good god, Cosette!" Ciel stomps after the girl. His boots made dull thuds on the wood. To Lizzy, they sound like the stroke of an executioner's axe. "You can't do that. You have been allowed too much freedom, little miss, and you think you can rule, don't you. Now get back here, or I swear you're writing three hundred lines."

Lizzy can simply slump in her chair, knowing too well how stubborn her daughter is. She struggles with the laces of her corset, which suddenly feels as if it's crushing her, but only succeeds in tengling her clumsy fingers in the strings.

_She will refuse to speak to me, and whatever she does, Odette, ever loyal, follows suit. Ciel will try to force them, but they are, after all, pure Phantomhive children._

_He'll have to send them away, returning only for holidays._

_And once again, I will be trapped here, with only my failing mind for company._

She allows herself to weep one tiny sob, one moment of weakness, much like a kitten's mewl, before she presses her fists against her eyes.

_If I am alone again, I think I'll go mad. I'm not strong enough. I can't do this._

_Maybe she's right… I'm simply in the way._

**One more chapter explaining why Lizzy's so sick might be coming up. Really, right now I'm kind of lost. (Might have something to do with cabin fever, I have no clue.)**

**But, again, I'm not giving promises on how much longer the story's going to be… it seems almost done.**

**Or maybe I'm just discouraged. I don't know. I'll probably end up re-writing this chapter and the last. ~loud sigh and sad flop off your screen~**


	22. Chapter 22-- Cosette, Swordfight

**Hoooooo boy. This weekend was really weird. But I am back, and (I think) refreshed. Hopefully these next few chapters will be better. **

**Uhm… I had something to say here. I forgot it ~Insert meaningful author's note~**

**I got prompts from Cyan Rubies! The first prompt will be in the next chapter, don't worry. I added a bit of it here too.**

Cosette lifts her sword, one leg forward to support her weight. Her blue eyes narrow, darkening as she carefully examines her opponent.

Without warning, she jolts forward, her sword arcing downward in a thick blur. The man facing her quickly spins out of the way, holding his sword up to deflect her blade. He then drops onto one knee, pulls his blade away from hers and taps the point of his sword against her corset.

"Point. You really need to watch your feet more, Lady Cosette. I could tell what you were going to do before you did it."

The girl scowls, flinging her blade onto the ground. "Well, you wouldn't be able to if you had taught me well! You're a horrible teacher, and I hate you!" she turns away, her face reddening from embarrassment.

In the doorway stands her mother, weak and pale. Her face, gaunt from weeks of terrible illness and inability to retain food, draws into a sad look.

For a moment, Cosette pities her mother.

_All Mother wants is for Father to love her, to make her feel as if she's needed. All she's ever wanted was for him to smile._

She shakes her head angrily, trying to free it from such thoughts.

_And she should realize that Father tries his best. She claims to love him, yet doesn't know how to let him be who he is._

Something inside her protests that she's being unfair, that her mother tries. That Lizzy can't help but love Ciel… that Ciel can't help but not love her.

She furiously forces herself to concentrate on her feet. Father recently bought her a brand-new pair of boots, black ones with thick soles, perfect for walking. Perhaps they're not the most fashionable shoes, but she prefers them over the light, thin slippers Odette wears.

Lizzy enters the room slowly, carefully holding her spine erect as she trails a hand lightly over the desk. She gives the illusion of merely floating, her tiny feet barely making noise and her dress rippling in the intense light of the vast room. She smiles faintly at Cosette's tutor. "Forgive her, Monsieur. She is not feeling well today. Perhaps I might give her some suggestions?"

The man raises his eyebrows, slowly taking in her fine dress, bare feet, and fragile form. "I… suppose, madam. But you need not if you are not well. It's quite fine."

Lizzy presses her lips together as if to hide a smile. Cosette opens her mouth to ask what the joke is, but remembers she isn't talking to her mother.

"I believe I shall be quite all right, thank you. If I may have your sword?" she extends a hand, gracefully curling her fingers around the sword's fine silver hilt.

As soon as she assumes a fighting stance, she is no longer the sickly, broken Elizabeth Phantomhive, forgotten wife of the house of Phantomhive.

She is a breeze, a spirit, seeming to flit one way while her sword becomes a shimmering blur in the sharp air. Long golden hair twists in the breeze as she carefully disarms her daughter with a clever twist of her wrist, her dress flying out behind her as her feet gently tap on the floor.

Within a few seconds, Cosette is dizzy, lying on the floor with a shocked expression. Two blades are inches from slitting her throat, and her mother is smiling down at her with a teasing expression unseen for years.

"It's all in the footwork, darling. Make certain that you stay light on your feet, and you'll never be disarmed." Placing a sword on the ground, the older woman reaches a hand to her daughter.

Cosette latches on to the pale hand, pulling herself up and quickly retrieves her sword. With a few slashes, Lizzy is backed against the corner.

"Never help your enemy up. It's a novice's rule," spits Cosette, whose eyes have grown to a nearly black color. She draws her sword back as if to decapitate her opponent.

Then her mother isn't in front of her, but somehow has slipped around her and has sliced through the tie holding back her hair. Cosette shrieks as blonde curls tickle her face.

Lizzy smiles apologetically. "You broadcast your moves. Make me guess what you're going to do."

Cosette brings her sword down to clash against her mother's. Sparks fly between the thin edges. "How?"

"Just. Think," teases Lizzy, the tip of her sword cleverly circling her daughter's crossguard. She watches her daughter carefully, green eyes innocently wide.

Cosette feigns that she's slashing right, but ends up ducking beneath her mother's outstretched sword. The tip of her blade rips into Lizzy's dress right below the edge of the corset, but doesn't pierce Lizzy's skin.

"Point," smirks the younger girl, glaring at her mother. She pants, proud that she's finally gotten the upper hand on the master before her.

_When did she learn to fight like this? I've never seen anyone this good before in my life!_

Lizzy tosses her sword into her left hand. "Good. But pay attention. I'm not going easy on you now."

Without time to even think, Cosette finds herself pinned against a wall, her mother's blade against her throat.

"You were distracted. I used that to my advantage. If I were an enemy in this position, I would not hesitate to decapitate you at this moment. There are no second chances, Cosette. If you learn that, you will succeed in life." Lizzy's eyes are cold, her heavy gaze freezing Cosette's heart.

Cosette lurches forward, frustrated and out-of-sorts, trying desperately to stay on her feet against the attacks battering her sword. All of the sudden the thin sliver of metal in her hand seems much too little protection against the woman before her.

Lizzy's feet move so quickly they are nearly blurs, yet she moves with the graceful ease of a well-trained dancer. She smiles gently at her daughter, but her mouth is set almost stubbornly.

In that moment, Cosette forgets that it's her mother, the woman who refuses to let her father love who he loves, the woman who is so pale and weak, the woman she has sworn to hate all her days.

In that moment, Cosette sees Lizzy Midford, prodigy in love with an unfaithful boy.

In that moment, Cosette suddenly understands her mother. In that moment, she grows very afraid.

All her life, she's thought that her fathers had a pure, good, wholesome love, that her mother was in the wrong. Lizzy was never to be blamed, of course, but both Cosette and Odette knew it was only right for Ciel to love Sebastian and not Lizzy. But somehow, seeing Lizzy as she must have been before she married Ciel, Cosette feels a hum of recognition.

The same spirit lurks within both of them, mother and daughter, the same willingness to sacrifice everything for loved ones, to not allow anything to stand in the way of their happiness. If Cosette loved a man, she would do anything to make him happy.

Even if it hurt her. Even if it killed her. And if his happiness was in another…

She would swallow her pain and let him love. No matter what. She would never complain.

Cosette pulls her eyes away from Lizzy's, finding herself on the ground in a pile of silk skirts and long legs. She brushes away her mother's gentle hand, struggling to her own feet in a daze.

_We're the same, Mother and I. She's doing exactly what I would. And yet I'm scorning her. How dare I?_

_My scorn is killing her._

**Yup. Like mother, like daughter. They're more similar than most might think.**


	23. Chapter 23-- That Girl, Abandoned

**Just an update. After this chapter, there will be two more "official" chapters. I'm also in the process of writing an epilogue (warning, sad end chapters are sad). After that, I think this story will be complete. Eventually, I plan to write more stories about the characters. Cosette and Odette still have a life, after all. And plus, I love writing modern!Ciel. **

**I'm not finished writing this fandom, I just think Lizzy's tale has been told, at least here. Will I write more Lizzy stories? Hell yeah. However, what happens if Ciel tells her he doesn't love her? What if Lizzy finds she can't marry him? Soooo many options for me to explore. **

**So… yeah. That's what my plan is. ~awkward nod~ Who knows if it'll work out?**

Odette clutches the girl's throat between her hands, awkwardly mashing her mouth against the girl's paler one. She teased the girl's lips open with her own, carefully dipping her tongue into the girl's sugary mouth.

In a few seconds, she felt a light, tingling sensation fill her core. She smiled against the girl's now-dead lips and withdrew, allowing the body to slap against the floor.

Swallowing, she turned to her father. "How did I do?"

Ciel's eyes glow with pride. "Very good, Dette. Very good. You're getting faster at that."

Odette smiles, cheeks still flushed with the dewy afterglow of feeding. Her vision is a touch fuzzy on the edges. This girl… such wonderful experiences she'd had. What a delicious soul.

She catches a frail scent on the wind, a smell acrid in its sweetness, like flowers wilting from rot. Turning, she shakes a lock of black hair from her eyes.

Her mother leans against the rose trellis, watching her with wide eyes. Her face seems carefully composed, features perfectly drawn into an expression of pleasant monotony, and yet under her meticulously seamless mask Odette spies a bit of revulsion at what she's just watched.

"Hello, Mother," she calls, stepping over the girl's body to walk to her mother. "I did it! All by myself, without Father helping in the slightest. Soon I'll be able to hunt by myself."

Lizzy thinks she's disguising her horror at this revelation, but Odette smells it, the sharp scent of disgust. Underneath the obvious repulsion, however, is a dustier smell, almost…

Worry? Why would Mother be worried?

"That's wonderful, sweetheart! But… of course, you'll only take souls as you need them?" Lizzy's eyes seem dull even in the bright light. She runs her fingers lightly over the lustrous stems of the roses.

Odette tilts her head. _This is why she's so worried?_

She quickly inhales again, pretending to be sighing. "Of course, Mother, no…" Her eyes widen, red flooding with terrified blue. "Uh… no worries, of course."

She waits until her mother turns away before coughing, trying to clear her head of the overpowering scent of terror.

Lizzy glances at her. "Come, sweet. I believe Sebastian has prepared dinner all ready. You'll… you'll come and sit with us, at least." Her eyes drop to graze lifelessly across the gravel path.

Odette scrutinizes her mother's features. Her forehead is tight, her eyes exhausted, mouth scarlet and moist from being bitten. Her gait is heavy, her scent containing threads of distraction, anger… fear… The amalgamation is thick and choking.

Odette hurries inside, feeling a black shadow of panic settle over her. She slams through the door, barely reigning in her speed in time to avoid knocking over Mey-Rin. The magenta-haired maid squeaks, arms flailing about as she struggles not to fall. Her can of floor polish spins through the air.

Odette smirks, catching the maid with one arm and snatching the polish with the other. "Here, Mey. Careful, please."

The woman bobs a nervous curtsy. "Yes, Miss Odette, ma'am. Of course."

Odette shakes her head, gliding across the half-polished floor. She carefully picks her way around a long trail of water slowly drizzling its way down the hall. "Mey-Rin! Your bucket's leaking!" then she strides down to the dining hall.

She throws back the door, head buzzing with dark thoughts. Hearing a loud gasp, she looks up in a panic.

Her ears register faint, muffled moans… the whisper of skin sliding, velvet and supple, against skin… the taste of electric panic tingling across her tongue… the spicy scent of heady desire enriched by the smooth creamy flavor of pure need.

She blushes, gasping as she yanks the door closed. "Sorry! Sorry, I'm sorry." She should have _known_ better than to walk in without announcing herself. The erotic perfume of a secret affair permeates the entire hall.

After a few minutes, she can taste her fathers' bitter shock fade. Sebastian calls gently, "Odette. It's all right. Come in, my dear."

Her face blushed red, she steps cautiously into the room. Both of her fathers, _dressed, thank the devil,_ smile at her. Ciel sips from his teacup, hiding the rosy hue of his cheeks behind the china. "Sorry about that, my dear. Ahem. Well…" he takes another sip. "Yes. Are you ready for dinner?"

Odette nods, taking a seat with her hands folded. She runs a hand through her hair, fingers tugging through knotted strands that have fallen from her thick braid. She sighs.

The door slams opened, barely announced by familiar, stomping footfalls. Female, around 110 pounds, obviously frustrated.

Odette stares seriously as her sister storms into the room, the thick leather of her boots complaining on the hard floor. Cosette gathers her long hair in one hand before she sits, then throws it behind her chair with a practiced hand. Her eyes are dark blue, glaring aimlessly at the silver, well-polished tea set.

"The case is going terribly. Bloody Scotland Yard's been bumbling about the crime scene, mangling everything." She glances at Sebastian as he rests a calming hand on her shoulder, pouring her a cup of tea.

"Have they butchered the clues?" Ciel sips his tea, examining his daughter carefully.

The girl tilts her head, cheeks pink from frustration. "Well… not to the extent I can't tell the criminal. I'm around 86 percent sure Lord Hashtings did, in fact, kill his wife. My problem is… why?" Her pretty mouth opens, tiny teeth glinting as she sighs. "I wish you would help me, Father."

Ciel looks at Sebastian, whose eyes are a soft brick-red and mournful, then back at his blonde daughter. "Zette… you know I can't do that. I won't be Earl Phantomhive forever. Once I'm gone, you'll take my place as Her Majesty's Guard Dog. You must learn to solve these by your own power… for when Sebastian and I must leave."

Sebastian covers one of Ciel's smaller hands with his own, thumbs gently rubbing the pale flesh. He tips the smaller man's chin to meet his eyes. "Young Master…" he breathes, his cheeks blooming with soft roses.

Odette suddenly wishes she was a normal, ordinary human who couldn't smell thick need pouring off her fathers… the desire to kiss… to mark…

To mate.

Ciel's mouth, barely open, is nearing Sebastian when the three demons hear light, awkward footsteps in the hall, accompanied by the slightly milky scent of floor soap.

Eyes blue with fear, Odette stumbles to her feet, hissing, "Door!" Sebastian releases his lover, quickly withdraws to stand impassively behind Ciel's chair.

The Earl himself forces down his arousal, cheeks losing their color to return to their ordinary pallor. He pretends to sip his tea as the door inches open.

The maid, hands flat against the heavy oak, bobs a short curtsy. "M… Mr. Sebastian, sir? There's a letter from Mr. Wordsmith. Came by horseman, it did, and he said it was urgent." She extends the silver platter, stepping in as she does so.

She somehow overlooks her skirt, which has become caught in the door, and begins to fall with a screech. Sebastian reaches for the letter. Odette springs to her feet, catching the maid before the woman hits the ground. She smiles at the maid. "Careful, remember? Watch your feet."

Odette blushes lightly as the maid smiles, giggles, and backs out of the room. As of recent, ever since her fifteenth birthday, the girl has felt strange… urges… desires, almost, to touch the maid, to ensure her safety. Nothing like Odette has ever felt before.

Could this be the same urges that drive her fathers to each other's beds?

A loud inhalation echoes through the room. Odette's eyes shoot to her fathers. Ciel is staring at the letter, his fingers trembling around the paper. He repeatedly reddens, then blanches. "Shit… sweet satan…"

Sebastian carefully eases it from his master's fingers. "My lord, what…?"

"Read it."

After Sebastian has perused the entire letter, his face has hardened, his eyes dangerously bright. "My lord… this means…"

Ciel nods. "Quickly. Pack our necessities, Sebastian. We'll leave for Paris until the debacle has cleared. Hopefully within a few months, they'll have forgotten."

Cosette rises, her hands clenched nervously in her dress. "Why? What's wrong? Father?"

Ciel's eyes close, horrified. "_Monsieur _Wordsmith says that evidence has come forward… of Sebastian's and my affair. That… that some have claimed Odette is a bastard child."

"What!" screams Cosette.

Odette cannot breathe. She's afraid, terrified that when she inhales she'll smell the truth in the air. "I am… aren't I? A bastard child… Your bastard child. The product of two demons copulating."

Sapphire eyes turn to her, one pair furious, the other relieved. Ciel clears his throat. "I hadn't… realized… male demons could be impregnated. I thought that I could pass you off as a pauper's child that Lizzy loved. Some woman from the village claims I…" his cheeks flare. "She claims that I went to her… made love with her. She claims she's your mother, Odette."

Cosette stares. "So… they don't think Sebastian…"

Sebastian gently takes his master into his arms. "Males, that is, human males cannot bear young. Demonic gender is… fluid. There would be no way in a human's eyes for Odette to be my daughter. But, as some women have claimed they saw us _interacting _-" Ciel's face burns brightly "they have the right to take your father away. If we leave England, at least for a time, the rumors should die down. Your mother will help with that."

"With what?" Lizzy, hair freshly arranged, enters the room, smiling at her daughters. "Hello, girls, I… what's wrong? My love?" Her eyes grow wide, afraid.

"They've found out, Lizzy. They're coming for me."

Odette whispers, but her voice is lost in the room. Cosette is screaming about not being told, Lizzy is weeping, Ciel clings to his lover, trying to determine what the best strategy will be. She clears her throat, repeating herself.

"Why do they care about Father's relationship with Papa? What should it matter that he had a child." Lizzy's never mentioned that most girls have only two parents, one male and one female, so Odette always counted herself lucky. She was loved so much she had three parents.

Lizzy looks at her, tears shining on her cheeks. "Because, darling, some people don't realize that love is a pure thing, no matter if a man loves a woman or another man. They think that people who love others of the same gender are… sick. Mentally. And since your fathers are together, they think he'll be unsafe around other people."

Odette's face hardens. _How dare they? They know nothing of love!_

"Lizzy, darling, we'll have to take Odette with us. Who knows what they'll do to her, now that they know she's not… officially legal."

Odette's eyes darken, staring at the ground. _Bastard child. Lizzy's not even my mother. _

_Does she even care for me?_

_What if… all of it, everything… what if it's always been an act?_

Lizzy rises, clutching the table for balance. "No! No, please, Ciel. The girls will be safe. The servants can protect us. No one has any complaint against the girls, please. I… I can't have both you and her gone, my love. Please."

Ciel reaches for her, cradles her face in his hands. He smiles at her. "I know, doll. But I could not rest easily knowing she might be in danger. Cosette can stay with you. You'll be all right—"

"I'm not staying with her! I refuse!" Cosette storms to the window, angrily biting into a roll. She stares out it.

Lizzy's eyes widen as Ciel grows red. "Cosette! How dare you speak to your mother like that? You _will _stay here. You're still a child!"

Cosette laughs deep in her chest. "A child when I'm to do something you want, but an adult when I need to fulfill responsibilities, is that it?" She turns suddenly, throws the roll at him. "Choose, Father! Am I old enough to investigate, or young enough to need protection?"

Sebastian snatches the bread from the air before it hits his master. Ciel stares at it, his eyes soft as he thinks. "Cosette… I…" he sighs. "You… you're right. I can't demand that you take on an adult's responsibilities, then treat you as a child. You must choose for yourself. Cosette… will you stay with your mother?"

The golden-haired girl glances at Lizzy. Her eyes are cold, barely showing any regrets. "No, Father. I want to go with you."

Ciel tears his eyes away from his daughter, his voice frozen with anger. "All right. Sebastian, please begin the packing. We'll depart the day after tomorrow. Lizzy…"

The woman looks up, trying to smile for him even as tears dampen her face. "I know. I must stay here. I'm not well enough to travel."

Odette stalks silently from the room, refusing to glance at her sister as she leaves.

_Damn you, Cosette._

_I thought you were my protector, my dear sister._

_How could you be so cruel?_

**Lizzy is all aloooooone~ Poor baby. Poor, poor baby.**

**Speaking of poor babies (I'm going to pity myself here), guess who's been rejected by every beta-reader she asked? This writer right here! Uncool…**

**Anyways. This chapter took forever to update. Sorry, loves. I really meant to. Life has been stupidly busy.**


	24. Chapter 24-- That Girl, Last Day (Pt 1)

**Here we go, dolls. This is it. This is, like, the first half of Paramour's last chapter. Hang in there with me. Lizzy will be happy. I know you want her to be.**

**My poor baby. She's nearly crazy at this point. She needs love. It's like life to her. The only reason she lasted so long was because of her children, but when they grew and began to not love her as much… oh, my poor darling.**

Lizzy watches them from the doorway, leaning most of her weight against the steady wood. Her pupils are wide, struggling to obtain any light from the darkened room. The only illumination flickers from two long, tapered candles casting light onto the lovers on the bed.

Sebastian cradles his little lover against his chest, one dark-nailed hand resting on that branded back that she knows so well, the other curled in slate-grey hair. His eyes are closed in infrequent slumber, almost feminine lashes nearly brushing his ivory cheek. Under the thin sheet strewn around the couple's hips, she can see the outline of feet twining together. Doubtless other things have happened under those very sheets.

After that first time she heard Ciel and Sebastian… interacting… she knew. She knew he had never been hers.

It was only a matter of realizing it.

Ciel's childlike face is hidden, pressed into his Sebastian's velvet neck. Lizzy wants him to turn, to show her that deceptively innocent face. The face that she's worshipped since she could lisp at her mother's skirts. She hears a sweet, contented sigh slip past his finely shaped lips.

She smiles sadly at the pair, legs trembling with the effort of holding her body off the floor. Her hands, so thin the bones jut out under the skin, hook into the silky blanket she's draped herself with.

In the dusky room, the moonlight tracing her body gives her the ethereal appearance of a dying angel. She smiles calmly wishing she could whisper her last words to her love… Ciel.

Not "her" Ciel. Sebastian's Ciel.

_I loved you. I loved you more than anyone else, Ciel. And… I though marrying you would make me happy. Would make both of us happy. I tried, my love._

Carefully walking over to the window, she stares up at the moon. It's as bright as a new three-pence, nestled in the velvet night. She sits on the windowsill, one hand resting on the bright glass. Her legs curl underneath her, seeking warmth in the suddenly arctic room.

_Once I realized you were sleeping with Sebastian, I began to blame myself. I thought it was my fault. You had been faithful before, I believed. _

_But the way he looked… looks at you. The way you look back. _

_My wrath grew. I couldn't be the one at fault, could I? And when I discovered he was not even human, I thought I had found the truth. I thought it was Sebastian's fault. I thought he'd lured you to him with whispers of love. I… I hated him for the longest time. I tried to compete with him, I scorned him. I was never good enough. I could never make you good, like I wanted you to be. I could never make you happy. _

_But I realize now_.

She turns to look at the pair. Ciel's hands, clutching desperately at his lover. His cheeks, highlighted with the softest tinge of pink. Sebastian's arms, encircling and protecting his fragile lord. The gentle, possessive way he watches the earl. So sweet, so tender in their love.

_I can't make you happy… because you're already happy. Not the joy I wanted you to have, but it is there. You love him like a man should love his lover, with a good and holy love. I can't scorn you for loving a man. I can't judge you, or hate you._

_I never could. I could never hate you, Ciel. I don't blame you for loving him. He's good, in his own way. He makes you happy. And anyone can see that he is beautiful._

_And you treated me well, as well as you could. I cannot fault you for that._

_But I have something to apologize for._

Frowning a little, she turns back to the window and pulls the heavy curtains. In her weakness, she can barely move them. After the light faintly tints the shadows, she relaxes again.

_Sebastian… I was cruel to you. Heartless. You were the kindest, most considerate gentleman to me. You knew where my heart lay, you knew I would do everything in my power to ensnare his love. And yet you treated me with grace and tenderness… more than simply a gentleman. You were a friend. I don't deserve your friendship._

Her fingers grow numb. The darkness seems darker now than it ever has. Yet somehow… she's filled with peace.

She can make her lord happy. This has been her destiny. She cannot pretend to merit Ciel. She can simply give of herself to find his happiness.

_I wouldn't want you to suffer embarrassment. Your name would be ruined. How dare I ruin your life any more? I separated you from your lover, fought with you, caused you to try to love me… it would be selfish. I've learned now._

_But an accident, one resulting in my death… It would make things easier for you. And for me. I'm lonely here, my love. Every day is filled with thoughts of you, every night with the weight of your absence. You can leave me. I bear you no ill will for leaving. But… I cannot stay here. Alone._

_I cannot face my demons, Ciel. I'm not as strong as you._

She closes her eyes, stepping up onto the balcony.

Once standing on the balcony, she opens her eyes. Ciel has awakened, is staring at her in shock.

She smiles. Her eyes are bright again, and suddenly she feels more alive than she has since she was a child.

"I love you, Ciel. So much. But this is better."

She leans backwards into empty air.

**I'm evil. Part two will be posted…. Actually… I don't know when. **

**Soon.**

**Probably. Leave a review with your thoughts, and I'll put SebaCiel goodness in the epilogue ~wriggles eyebrows~**

**(Hey, anyone want to RP? I role-play Ciel, and I'm looking for a Sebastian. Come talk to me on Tumblr.)**


	25. Chapter 25-- That Girl, Last Day (Pt 2)

**This is a meaningful author's note. **

**(Yeah, I'm not apologizing for the cliffhanger. I loved doing that.)**

"God, no! Lizzy!" She hears Ciel scream as she drops back towards the pathway. Everything is moving so quickly, she can barely register when two strong arms, skin bruning hot against her own, clutch her body to a taller one.

Suddenly she's no longer falling, but soaring upwards. Her head begins to rush, her hair whipping her face. She gasps out a sob in shock.

Her rescuer lands gently in the bedroom and places her on the ground. As soon as she's on a solid surface, she retches on the smooth floor and begins to weep. "God… God… God… Ciel…" She look up, excepting to see her husband's shocked sapphire eye.

Instead, she finds herself staring into two ruby eyes filled with concern. "Se… Seb…"

_Why would he save me? _She is shocked, unable to stutter out the question, and yet somehow she knows the answer.

_Because he truly cares._

"My lady, quiet yourself. You are in a very fragile condition." He pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket and daintily wipes her lips. She swallows, face screwing at the amaroidal taste coating her mouth.

She blubbers, eyes spilling with tears. "Ciel… I… ah…" Her chest heaves and she feels like she's drowning on the air. Her fingers claw the air, desperate for a breathe that doesn't feel like motlen steel.

Her husband lifts her into his arms, cradling her against him. "Lizzy, Lizzy, my little love, why did you do it? Sweetheart, what did I do?"

"You… I… Useless… Unloved… Ciel…"

"I understand, my sweet. You don't love me, now that you know me." He smiles at her, as if to reassure her that it's quite all right. One hand, unnaturally warm against her icy skin, lift her chin gently.

_No, no, you don't understand. I can't stop loving you, no matter what I tried. _"Ciel… Ciel… Love… you…"

He lays her into the bathtub. The cold porcelain shocks some sense back into her, and she gasps as she sit up. The water is a silken nightdress against her frozen extremities."Ciel… what… happened?" Her head feels stuffed with tulle and her tongue is heavier than a carriage.

"Lizzy, why? What made you want to… to…" Her husband bites his lip, staring into her eyes with a horrified, lost expression.

"I… not… needed." She feels breathless again and slowly begins to regulate her breathing.

_In… two… three…_

_Out… two… three…_

"Good god, Lizzy. Where would Cosette be without you, Lizzy? I can't raise her like you can. I don't know anything about raising demon children, much less human ones. At least I can teach Odette to hunt, to hide herself among humans. I can't teach them the finer things. I can't teach her to be graceful, to say what people want you to say while keeping your own opinion. I can't teach her how to embroider or to dance."

Sebastian coughs into his fist and mutters something along the lines of "No. No you can't."

"I can't be what she needs, Lizzy. Only you can. She needs you, Lizzy. I… I need you, Lizzy. You're right, I don't love you like a man should love his wife. I never have. You thought I did, but… I can't, Lizzy. It's my fault, thinking I can run and leave you with the cares of the world. I'm so selfish, missing out on… so much." He brushes his knuckles across her cheek fondly. "Anyone who has your heart has so much love, Lizzy. I… I have had so much love. I know you can't love me now, but…"

"I love you… Ciel. I… always… will…" She is not suited for hatred.

Not towards Ciel. Not towards him.

"Then you can't leave me alone, Lizzy. If you died… I would too. My heart, Lizzy. You're closer than any sister could ever be. You must come with me, my darling. I will not abandon you for the shadows. I cannot be that cruel."

With those words, she closes her eyes.

She will never be loved by Ciel as she wishes to be. He will never worship her, never proclaim her above all others.

And yet… knowing who he is, as she now does… She could never let him do that. He is too strong, too good. She is not worthy to be his religion as he is hers. She is only a mere priestess of his, worshiping in the temple of his greatness.

Yet she is worthy enough to merit some of his love.

That is enough. That will suffice.

He has given her a child. She gives him her life.

She is content to lie, fully clothed, in the water, feeling his fingers lace through her hair. He will leave tomorrow, leave behind this mansion of ghosts, and she will depart with him. The Phantomhive name shall become nothing but a whisper, forgotten by those who walk the earth. He will take her. He loves her.

Not as a lover, full of passion and need.

As a friend. As an equal.

As herself.

…**You go, Lizzy. Go girl.**

**I love Liz. She's awesome in the manga. Seriously. She's my bae. When she grows up (in-canon) she's going to be so bad-ass. I can't wait.**

**Ok, do you think it would be odd if, sometime in the future, Sebastian stopped referring to Ciel as "My lord" and called him "My love"? I don't know… kind of on the fence about that one.**


	26. Chapter 26-- Ciel, Burial

**Ciel's POV. Hell yeah, baby. Aaaaand thanks to reviewers… **

**One chapter of SebaCiel goodness, coming up. Also, note I use the word "demon" for Sebastian, and "demonling" for Ciel. I hope that makes things clearer (demonling's technically not a word, but I got confused without using it for Ciel.)**

**With a whole lot of feels. No, seriously guys. Get tissues. A whole box.**

**Uhm. The goodness may get a bit… explicit. Kiddoes under 16, only read down to where Lizzy sinks into the river. I'm such a hypocrite. **

White swathes her body, long petticoats wide and soft as clouds curving away from her body to billow against the grass below. The long white train, embroidered with a thousand diamonds like unshed tears, stretches behind her. Pale, thin shoulders and a fair bosom are set to an advantage by low shoulders. Her hair has been tenderly braided by dexterous fingers, gently weaving feathers in and out of the golden locks.

Ciel leans down, presses a soft kiss to her cold cheek. Her eyes are closed, her face barely blushing.

_This is how she looked on our wedding day._

He smiles at her, or tries to. She would not want this day filled with tears. Not her, so good, so full of light.

His angel, his little one.

"Sebastian." His tone, soften than goose down, barely reaches the demon's ears over the thundering river.

The taller man kneels, one hand pressed against his heart. His raven locks hide a face so familiar to the demonling. "My love." The velvet timbre of his voice is muted, soft with sorrow and respect.

"Is everything prepared?" Even as he asks, he teases the scent of new dirt, of nutty oak, of a dew-damp rose from the air. The demon's gloves, while still retaining a nearly-unnatural whiteness, are dotted with tiny grains of dirt.

"Of course." Of course everything is ready. What would Sebastian think of himself, if he could not serve his lover?

Ciel smiles, watching the demon under long lashes. His demon, still faithfully serving him.

His Sebastian. If Lizzy could see them, he thinks she would be smiling.

_My doll… You were happy for us, weren't you? You seemed to smile more, in the weeks after we left London._

_For the next six weeks, while you clung to life like a babe to her mother's breast, a smile never left your face._

The sickness that came upon her had drained all youthful blush from her cheeks, leaving her complexion pure porcelain. He kisses one soft cheek, heart throbbing within his chest at the icy coldness.

A hand, no longer hidden behind white linen, rests on his shoulder. "My love… the preparations have been finished. When you are ready… it's time."

Her eyes are closed, dusted with the softest pink powder to imitate life. He kisses each eyelid, brushing a kiss softer than the petals braided into her hair. Carefully, his mouth traces her cheekbones, laving adoration onto the fine arches.

_You deserved a man to worship you, my doll. You deserved a man better than me._

_You deserved a saint. I gave you Satan._

_You deserved heaven. I was a living hell._

His lips hover over her mouth, doubting himself. To kiss her in death… when he would not in life…

_My final salute, my doll. My Lizzy._

He gently, elegantly captures her mouth in a chaste kiss, pressing the soft petals of his mouth into her tenderly painted one. When he pulls back, her cheeks are bejeweled with his tears.

"All right, Sebastian." Strong arms, so much stronger than when he was a child, cradle her against his chest, silk whispering against the velvet coat he wears.

Sebastian, watching his lord with an oddly tender expression, holds out his arms, wrapping around Lizzy. "My love… I can do this, if you require."

His eyes harden with determination, the irises warming to a dull red. "I shall do this, Sebastian. Hold the raft."

Tethered to the bank is a short raft, constructed of an afternoon's time, with what little wood they had. It's surface, slightly rough with the wood's grain, has been stained the deepest mahogany and laid with fine black silk. Scattered about the silk are white petals, sweetly mingling the scent of lilies and roses. He rests her there, hair fanned out about her face in a halo.

The dying light catches her hair, her bodice, the wood as they push the raft to the center of the river and watch it sink. Within a week, her body will be lost, buried in the shadowy depths.

Ciel closes his eyes, ordering himself to keep back stray tears. He feels no comforting hands on his shoulders. He would order them away if he did.

When the light has faded over the river, and the last gold of his late wife's hair has faded beneath the glass river, Ciel turns. "Come, Sebastian." His whisper is all but lost in the demon's ears.

That night, as he clings to Sebastian's chest, face buried in his neck, he remembers her.

Sebastian, fingers cool and slick with oil, traces the edges of his twitching hole. Ciel moans, fingers clenched in the sheets as his lover prepares him.

_Her skin was softer than the lilies she favored, scented with roses and burnt sugar. Under it all was the acrid scent of wilting flowers. The bitter stench of death._

A warm tongue strokes up and down in the cleft between his buttocks. He hisses every time it strokes his throbbing, needing cleft.

_She watched them, sometimes, when they were together. He could smell her in the room, could smell her half-horrified, half-aroused shock permeate the room. On those nights, he refused to do anything more than the most innocent actions. There was no teasing, nothing that would make him less in her eyes._

Finally, he wraps the demon's hair about his fingers and tugs, burying his hands in the silky-rough strands. "N… no more! I… inside me!"

His demon smirks, knowing too well that he can no longer stage off his orgasm, and slides inside him with one smooth thrust. Ciel pants, slowly rocking back until he feels Sebastian's strong, unyielding hips against him.

_Her hair was always so pretty, no matter what she'd been doing. Even after a night in the rain and a jump out of the window, her hair had silkily draped around her face, giving her the fragile appearance of a child, eyes large and innocent._

Ciel arches his back, grinding into his lover as Sebastian allows him a moment to adjust. Without a word, he slowly draws back, then thrusts back in, one hand wrapping around the demonling's erect member.

"Se…Sebastian! Oh…. Yes… Yes! There!"

_She hated his seeming weak around her. It scared her._

_If he could become weakened… what was there to protect her?_

His lover pulls him up to cradle him against his chest, sweat-slicked skin against skin, and yet all he can think is the _color of her eyes was so varied. So bright. They could go from the fresh green of grass to the dark, mossy green of hatred._

Sebastian thrusts in at a brutal pace, but it's not enough, not enough. The demon growls deep in his throat as he sinks his fangs into Ciel's delicate skin.

The demonling screams as he comes, fingers curled into claws, nails digging crescents into Sebastian's neck as the demon pounds into him, teeth embedded in his neck. His face is spattered with his own desire.

When Sebastian moans in his ear and spends inside him, erection pulsing wildly, Ciel feels a briny… something… on his cheeks.

He's crying.

For her.

As his lover cleans them off, wordlessly stroking off all traces with a damp cloth, he does not mention the tears that fall unbidden from Ciel's face.

Soon the boy will forget, memory lost in the pleasure and heartache of life. Soon every trace of her smile will be expelled from the sunlight. The grass will no longer be the shade of her eyes. Humans are, after all, such fickle creatures.

And yet…

Something of the way the boy buries red eyes into his lover's chest, of the way his fingers slowly play out the melody of her favorite song…

Perhaps she will not be so easily forgotten.

**End. This is it.**

**Love you guys. I'm… wow, ok. Give me a second. That was tough.**

**This has been an emotional journey for me. I hope you've found as much pleasure in it as I have. I think that this is the right way to leave them. **

**Lizzy's found her peace. She's happy. **

**And I wouldn't leave her any other way.**

**Btw, if you actually kinda like my writing, I'm doing another Kuro fic. It's called Red. Go to my profile, everything's there.**


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